A Response To The New York Daily News Writer Who Got PTSD From Shooting An AR-15 For An Hour

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In case you missed the bravest piece of journalism since Brian Williams landed with the first wave on Omaha Beach, Gersh Kuntzman of the New York Daily News went on a field trip to shoot an AR-15 after the horrifying terrorist attack/hate crime killing spree at Pulse Nightclub in Orlando. His goal? To see how scary and evil the inanimate object that can only hurt innocent people in the hands of evil bastards and negligent morons really, truly is.

(Never mind that an AR-15 wasn’t used in the shooting. Whatevs.)

So what was Kuntzman’s conclusion about the AR-15? That it kicks like a bazooka (a trait that, of course, makes an assault rifle easy to wield and thus gun down scores of people, obviously), sounds like a cannon (I admit they’re loud, though a TFM writer who is currently on active duty in the army disagrees), and just an hour with them can cause PTSD.

Reading Kuntzman’s piece inspired me to respond, you guys. Why? Because a few months ago I shot assault rifles for the first time at my cousin’s ranch. Turns out, my experience was even scarier than Kuntzman’s. We are brothers in fear, so I too must share my crazy scary story of firing a gun in a safe and controlled environment.

———–

I gripped the AR-15 and immediately felt a cold rush down my spine. The chill entwined my backbone. Twas was no ordinary winter’s chill, and no happy memories of sledding down a snowy embankment was I reminded of. Rather, the chill was a ghostly, lonely caress — as though souls lost in time had joined me, the dastardly rifle acting as a lighting rod of despair, attracting all those mournful ghouls to weep in my presence, and of my present. They had been lost, somehow, and so too was I now upon placing my once innocent hands upon the black demon stick before me.

Fear not, though, fair reader. I am but a simple journalist, existing for what but to sacrifice my fair and noble soul for thee? And sacrifice I did. I did indeed. Indeedidly I doth sacrifice for thee. For my soul is neither fair nor noble on this day. The day since. The day on which the light touched the earth but was taken from me. The day I was reborn a rogue. Elaborate I shall, though warn of triggers I must, both literal and super literal, for those be the only two kinds.

A thousand souls wept upon my own fallen spirit as I nestled the hell pole into my shoulder. And though I looked upward to the goddess and begged for forgiveness, I knew my task had only begun to begun. Against all natural instinct I forced my finger to graze the trigger gently, though no gentleness did I feel in return. Nay, NAY, I felt nigh but violence pulse through me like dark lightning through a crucifix. And like a crucifix touched by the devil, I could feel my life begin to turn upside down.

“Go on and pull it,” the man behind me insisted, as though the safety of everyone standing behind me, if not a 20 mile radius, weren’t in jeopardy.

“Go’n,” he said again.

He cared not for life, a sentiment I would have revolted at if not for the power of the rifle consuming my spirit, driving me to destroy.

“Fire. Fiiiiirrrreeeeee,” a raspy, guttural voice insisted. Twas not the man’s though. But whose? With great fear I let my eyes investigate before the voice drew me to its source.

“Fiiiiireeee heheheheheehe,” it goaded and chuckled with the glee of a genocidal clown-witch. There and then I saw the source. Twas the blackness of the rifle itself beckoning me to unleash the hate inside my soul and the contraption itself.

“Releeeeeaaaasee meeeeee,” it squealed with a shortening patience, hungry for destruction like a vampire piglet fighting to suckle from a blood lactating teet.

My conscience begged me to flee. My fear — and duty to you, fair readers, who are oh so brave for even reading this (but not as brave as me I’m like really brave now) — compelled me to stay. And so I pulled that trigger, that latch of terror, that hang down of horror.

The metal beast boomed like a volcano. It kicked like a wild skeleton horse from hell. I lost control of my bowels but somehow was able to hold the rifle steady. The noises shook me to my core. Death does not always sneak in the night. Sometimes, He likes to make an entrance.

The sonic booms from the barrel preceded again, and again the jackhammering of the stock, which punished my shoulder and pushed my collarbone to the brink of shattering. Who could wield this power but a man strengthened by sheer evil? Then I realized… I was wielding the power.

Existentialists claim than in moments an eternity may exist. Before the afore scribed moment my innocence was erased in a rape of fire I would have greeted the notion with a raised cappuccino and a cheers. Perhaps suggesting that were it true I may finally find some time to restore that old brass umbrella stand I found some hobos using as a number-two only toilet.

No longer, fair readers, can I raise a cheers to my hobo toilet antiquing project upon the idea of extended time. I have been trapped in time, now. My very aura ripped to shreds by a prism of violence, into which the white light of my innocent, gun-free soul entered, and from it only shades of red — of blood — exited. For as the bullets left the instrument of genocide I was embracing as though it were a child (hell’s child, methinks), I fell into the void.

And there, I sat, upon a dead a Viet Cong, sawing off his ear with a bayonet and saying to a man called ‘Slim’ that I, “Can’t wait for that good sideways Saigon pussy.”

And there, I stood, manning a machine gun in the belly of a bomber plane, watching London below me burn, shouting in German, “Your Limey babies will burn with the Jews and the Marxists” to the cheers of my Luftwaffe brethren.

And there I lay, quietly and still, lining up a boy no older than 16, his head peaking out of the trench, curious, but thrilled at the great adventure before him. The only thing that could wipe the excited look from his face was my sniper’s bullet, and it did. Right out the back of his skull in an explosion of pink and red and youth lost.

And then I found myself in a strange land. A future place. Giant, glimmering, terrifying machines which possessed a might not known yet to man (save for the AR-15) raced past me firing their pulse cannons and heat rays at the well entrenched Clagarian lines. I shouldered my own assault laser and scanned the horizon. A Harzjinger class shock trooper darted out from behind a wall. I captured him in my sights. Computer displayed his information on the HUD. His name was Golphart Rectuminus. Father of 13. Volunteered as a deacon of the Q’trun Temple in the Xqptzasss province. Still I fired, and as the trooper’s skin melted off his body and his skeleton disintegrated, I knew that thirteen more Clagarian children had been orphaned that day.

And so I fell through the ages, burning, pillaging, killing, and conquering until the very mouth of hell opened before me, and the great lord Satan beckoned me in. His fire was warm. It welcomed me like a hug from a good friend in a wooly sweater. I wanted to join the Dark Lord and dance in puddles of blood with his demon mistresses. All the violence of all the ages swirled about me.

Satan, he the great god of death, turned to me and opened his mouth to speak. His breath smelled of sulfur and suffering.

“Guns are cool. I like guns,” he said to me.

It was then I knew, amongst all the violence of all the ages that have passed and have but yet to come, that guns were super duper wrong and bad and I hate them because I’m a good person.

———–

I could call Gersh Kuntzman a pussy, but it’s cheap and I happen to think quite highly of vaginas. The truth is he’s just a shitty journalist. His article is nothing but a series of lies and exaggerations, made for no reason other than to stand out in the sea of anti-gun pieces written after the horrifying events Orlando. Even he knows this. (He really does.) I’m sure he’s genuinely anti-gun, but he still knows his article turned the drama up to 11 for #clicks. And, fuck us all, it worked so he learned zero lessons about good, responsible journalism.

I don’t hate the pro-gun control crowd, uninformed and jaded by narratives as the majority of them may be. I think wanting less easy access to guns is a reasonable thing to want, though I don’t agree with it in a broad sense. (However I do think certain new restrictions should be put in place, like the type that prevent a two-time member of the FBI terrorist watchlist from buying lots of weapons so easily, or maybe at all. Doesn’t bother me because I’m not ever going to be suspected of being a fucking terrorist.)

But why don’t we maybe express these opinions, you know, not like a lying, emotion manipulating asshole looking to score extra clicks for minor personal gain by taking advantage of people’s genuine fears and tears? I swear to God I get more upset at how poorly people argue and express their opinions than I do at the opinions themselves these days. Gersh Kuntzman isn’t a pussy. He’s a manipulator and a whore.

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  1. VandyConservative

    1) Calling a case of nerves PTSD is a fucking disgrace and disrespectful to anyone who actually has PTSD, from those who served in the military to those who have experienced abuse.
    2) If you think a 5.56 kicks hard, you’re a bitch.
    3) Fuck the liberals

    8 years ago at 12:10 pm
    1. fratstar570

      I watched a redneck at the gun range put his AR-15 in his 4 year old daughters arms and help her shoot it. You didn’t hear her bitch about the kick cause there barely is any. Go shoot any sort of short barrel pistol grip gun from the AK family and then you can bitch about kick.

      8 years ago at 12:17 pm
      1. VandyConservative

        Exactly. And unless the gun breaks my shoulder, I’m not bitching even if it does hurt. And since I’m not planning on shooting any WW2-era Russian antitank rifles, I doubt I’m going to break my shoulder shooting anytime soon.

        8 years ago at 12:21 pm
      2. AbbyMiah

        Here Before I saw the check which was of 15733 dollar , I didn’t believe that…my… mother in law woz like realey bringing in money part time at their laptop.. there great aunt haz done this 4 only 20 months and resently paid for the morgage on there condo and got a great new Mercedes-Benz S-class…
        Visit this website… http://WWW.BuzzFeedReport.TK

        8 years ago at 11:59 am
      3. theunis

        In south africa defence force when I served under 32 batalion we were fighting against swapo.mk and the cubans they all were armed with AK47.we were armed with R1 762mm.R4 556mm,the R1 out classed the AK47,or might it be that the cuban military machine should be called the the cuban joking(run away) from war machine,the ar 15 is not available in south africa but I still prefer 762 mm to 556mm or even 243 6mm

        8 years ago at 12:06 pm
    2. GodHatesFigs

      I think they come in a .22 as well which is about as small as you can possibly go with the majority of firearms. I’d love to see this guy cry over shooting a 12 gauge. Liberal pussification at its peak.

      8 years ago at 12:59 pm
      1. Freshman_15

        Even if it’s not a .22, a 5.56 round is a .223. Very small caliber. Kick or recoil is related to the relationship between the weight of the firearm and caliber of the round.

        8 years ago at 2:04 pm
      2. GodHatesFigs

        Yeah I know but I figured more people would be familiar with a .22 and its practically non-existent kick than a .223. At least I am, the first firearm I ever shot was a .22 pistol.

        8 years ago at 2:49 pm
      3. GodHatesFigs

        At the end of the day, it’s just a rabbit gun with a magazine, dressed up to look tactical.

        8 years ago at 3:04 pm
      4. kabo72

        A 5.56 would have more kick than a .22 because it’s a centerfire rifle round (i.e. more powder), but, yeah, still not a very hard kick.

        8 years ago at 11:01 am
    3. KingSaltyBalls

      I went through the trouble of creating an account just so I could upvote this.

      As much as I like being able to buy food at a store, the downside is that people like Gersh Kuntzman haven’t died from starvation (as evolution intended).

      Even a .308 AR with a carbine-length gas system isn’t terrible. Hell, my wife weighs all of 100 pounds, and her favorite rifle to shoot is my Mosin Nagant. Of course Kuntzman wants “assault rifles” banned; they remind him that he couldn’t survive in any era other than the present.

      8 years ago at 3:50 pm
  2. ijustcameheretofrat

    1: Fuck this guy. To say that his piece was over the top is a massive understatement.
    2: If we are able to create legislature and certain limitations to other amendments, then we can at the very least open a dialogue on this topic.

    8 years ago at 12:13 pm
    1. VandyConservative

      Pretty much our only limitation to another amendment is shouting “Fire” in a crowded theater. Want to change gun rights (or due process if you’re a watch list fan), you have to amend the Constitution or you’re violating it. The Constitution isn’t a set of guidelines. It is the highest law of our land for a reason.

      8 years ago at 12:15 pm
      1. ijustcameheretofrat

        To say though that we can’t even have a sit down discussion and debate on a thing, which when it occurred in Australia with less causalities that caused them to enact new gun laws (which I’m not saying we have to do), is ludicrous to me.

        8 years ago at 12:21 pm
      2. VandyConservative

        Discuss it all you want. But I just outlined the only legal method for gun control and you’re still saying we should adopt unconstitutional legal measure. And fuck Australia, don’t bring up their bullshit here.

        8 years ago at 12:23 pm
      3. ijustcameheretofrat

        Cool then we amend the Constitution. We still down and have a level headed discussion using facts and statistics like any rational person. But to dismiss a developed nations response, extreme as it is, is ignorant.

        8 years ago at 12:28 pm
      4. HavanaDaydreamin

        Gun crime has decreased drastically since the 70’s. The only reason liberals want to debate a change is because they get too emotional after a mass shooting. Although mass shootings are up which is terrible, over all gun deaths are down.

        8 years ago at 12:39 pm
      5. Ticklemyfrock

        Statistically Murder rates, crime rates, and gun violence have been on a decline in the US for the last several years… Emotionally I agree with you but I’m not a pussy

        8 years ago at 1:05 pm
      6. VandyConservative

        Thank you. Know what happens when you restrict guns? Women, the elderly, and frail people become victims at a higher rate. The UK saw the same thing happen. A 100lb woman with a knife doesn’t frighten a 200lb man. Hand her a gun. Hand her a semiautomatic rifle so when the bad man comes in the night she’s as prepared as possible to defend herself. Fuck anyone who tells that woman what she can own to defend herself.

        8 years ago at 12:35 pm
      7. ijustcameheretofrat

        So then by that logic less guns equals more rape? Does that mean women in the US who don’t own a gun are more likely to get raped even though this is a complete hypothetical and circumstantial situation?

        8 years ago at 12:41 pm
      8. VandyConservative

        I don’t know if the stats on rape vary by female gun ownership in the U.S. The conclusion is that in the U.S. a rapist doesn’t know if a woman can defend herself. In Australia or the UK they know she can’t.

        8 years ago at 12:44 pm
      9. ijustcameheretofrat

        Okay what about tasers? What about mace? What about MMA training? Again the 200lb dude vs. 100lb chick is a hypothetical that still may occur but guns aren’t the only method of self defense.

        8 years ago at 12:50 pm
      10. VandyConservative

        Tasers and mace aren’t 100% effective. And MMA? Are you fucking kidding? Ronda Rousey is a more gifted fighter than damn near any woman in history and she would get rag-dolled by any decent sized grown man. Is my 50 year old mother expected to defend herself with hand to hand combat and pepper spray?

        8 years ago at 12:53 pm
      11. ijustcameheretofrat

        I also don’t necessarily expect either your or my mother to strolling around in situations they themselves know put them at a disadvantage. I also think that if you look back at my other comments I stated that I don’t believe we need these sweeping gun laws you’re so terrified about but as Bacon puts it maybe, just MAYBE, we create a law that says “Don’t sell a firearm to someone who’s been confronted by the FBI twice on suspicion of terrorism.” I don’t know maybe some common sense type shit for fuck’s sake

        8 years ago at 1:13 pm
      12. VandyConservative

        Now you’re blaming the woman for “strolling” somewhere she’s in danger? What about if she can’t afford to live in a safer neighborhood? Fuck yourself man, don’t blame women for the evil they are more easily subjected to.
        I never said one or two common sense changes wouldn’t be common sense. I said they are unconstitutional and thus illegal, no matter their sense. I don’t support illegal government intervention.

        8 years ago at 1:16 pm
      13. DXorDIE

        Yea man. Maybe women just should choose not to be more vulnerable than men who weigh 10-20% more than them. They just shouldn’t put themselves into that situation. Yea you’re right. They should be able to carry a gun to end that situation before it ever becomes a problem.

        8 years ago at 3:16 pm
      14. Skylark_17

        You didn’t come here to frat, you came here to push the libtard agenda. Take off those cargos you whiny bitch

        8 years ago at 1:33 am
      15. Corncob Wheatcroft

        Yes.

        Actually know personally a girl in KY who was followed to her car and forced in at knife point, pulled her gun from her purse and shot her would-be attacker in the neck.

        She owns a gun. She didn’t get raped (or worse).

        8 years ago at 2:51 pm
  3. Ticklemyfrock

    I shot higher caliber rifles than that when I was 5 years old (30-06). I didn’t like the kick but I was less of a pussy than this guy

    8 years ago at 12:24 pm
  4. Carl_Speckler

    Solid response. Only issue was you calling the AR-15 an assault rifle. It’s a lie that the liberal left uses to perpetuate fear in the ignorant.

    8 years ago at 12:28 pm
      1. fratstar570

        A lot of idiot liberals don’t even know the difference between semi-automatic and fully-automatic either. They all think that assault rifles are fully automatic with 70 round drum magazines.

        8 years ago at 12:43 pm
      2. BillyQuantrill

        An “assault rifle” is a military term, used to describe a fully-automatic rifle deployed for combat use. These have been largely illegal for decades.

        An “assault weapon” is a political term the left created out of thin air in 1994 when they were trying to define what they wanted to ban purely for cosmetic reasons. “Totes scary-looking rifle” just didn’t have the same appeal (outside of the NY Daily News).

        8 years ago at 12:43 pm
  5. BWestlo

    Taking away a citizen’s right to bear arms based off some mystery list infringes on Due Process, so no, you can’t do that.

    8 years ago at 12:40 pm
    1. Rob Fox

      I was pretty vague in my suggestion because I don’t have (or don’t have the time to research) a good solution. But obviously there needs to be some sort of safeguard against people with terrorist ties buying weapons. That’s common sense. I don’t know what the solution is, especially a constitutional one, but the appropriate government parties need to be working their asses off to find one

      8 years ago at 12:45 pm
      1. VandyConservative

        I agree. But if the accused is a U.S. citizen we have to get a charge filed. We can’t sacrifice liberty for (perceived) safety.

        8 years ago at 12:49 pm
      2. Rob Fox

        The No-Fly list is notoriously, uh, not great, but is the terrorist watch list as unreliable? I mean, this terrorist was literally on it. I would need to read more about it but this seems like a decent starting point.

        It was heartening to hear that two different gun store owners refused to sell to the Orlando shooter out of personal suspicion. Really throws a wrench in the “it’s too easy to get a gun” narrative.

        8 years ago at 12:56 pm
      3. VandyConservative

        The terrorist watch list is also sketchy (probably not as bad as no fly). But even if it was 100% effective in identifying only bad people, we can’t deny those bad people with citizenship a protected right without due process. As shitty as it is.

        8 years ago at 1:01 pm
      4. Rob Fox

        Isn’t a more thorough vetting by the Justice Department and an extended wait period (for those with suspected terrorist ties but still a U.S. citizen) due process? That’s not technically a denial of a their 2nd Amendment right in and of itself, because nothing has been outright denied (yet). We have a right to a speedy trial too, but what that means is that we can’t be held in limbo indefinitely waiting for it to begin. As long as the vetting begins within a reasonable amount of time (preferably one business day) then it strikes me as okay. And if they are found to be too suspicious or closely tied to terrorist organizations, well, fuck ’em.

        8 years ago at 1:08 pm
      5. VandyConservative

        You’re likely on the right track there. But there must be transparency and the right to appeal your placement on the list with legal representation before court if the Justice Department gets to do that. And realistically a judge needs to approve the temporary measures and set a court date or all of this would still be illegal.

        8 years ago at 1:13 pm
      6. Rob Fox

        I 100% agree with transparency and a right to appeal. It’s a complete necessity. Plus it’ll probably just scare a lot of those bastards away because they won’t want to be out in the open like that.

        8 years ago at 1:15 pm
      7. VandyConservative

        Looks like we’re roughly on the same page. So many of our problems are due to bureaucracy fucking up the law and people calling for new laws to fill the gaps.

        8 years ago at 1:19 pm
      8. RisingFratstarOfTX

        This is why if the government wants a solution, they should come to this site. We’ve got some damn good ideas around here. On a related note, bring back the forums and get rid of the sailboats.

        8 years ago at 9:31 am
      9. Are You Kidding Me

        If I am a terrorist and I want to know if I am a watch list all I need to do is try to buy a gun under those rules.

        Seems a quick and easy way to know if I am being investigated or if I have an all clear that I am under the radar before I launch an attack.

        There is no easy answer to this problem.

        8 years ago at 2:55 pm
      10. 1_Rugey_Jentelman

        Heard somebody put it this way, to earn your gun permit, you should have to prove you’d be an asset in an active shooter situation. Fuck if I know how to prove that, but a fix along those lines has been the best I’ve heard.

        8 years ago at 4:22 pm
      11. Otter Stratton J.D.

        The biggest wrench is the state by state distinctions and classifications on firearms, so any meaningful reform would have to come from Congress – whose actions are more constitutionally restricted and thus harder to uphold than states, for good reason. But fuck the answer is probably in the commerce clause somewhere, If you want to regulate something it’s always in the commerce clause.

        8 years ago at 9:24 pm
  6. Fratstarbator

    the first paragraph i was like “alright, enough with the folk lore speech” but, much like a family guy joke that goes on obscenely long, you had me chuckling.

    8 years ago at 12:43 pm