A Robot Blowjob Cafe Is Opening In London, Where Robots Will Suck You

Doctor Franzia9 years ago

Aside from going to the gates of Buckingham Palace to point, laugh, and publicly urinate a little bit on the 4th of July, I don’t have much of a reason to go to London. But that’s about to change.

A sexual trailblazer named Bradley Charvet is opening a new blowjob cafe in the center of the historic city, but with a little twist: robots.

From the Huffington Post:

Based on Thailand’s blowjob bars, the idea is that a guy can come in to order a cup of joe and an escort. The wrinkle at the center of Charvet’s vision: The escorts are robots. That means he can open in London and expand aggressively in countries with less permissive sex work legislation.

I’m split on having sex with robots. I’m past the point of arguing about whether it’s going to happen — it’s the future. We’re going to be having sex with robots. Thing is, what are they going to be like? Are we going to want them to be more machine, like a giant Sybian/espresso machine. (I’m trademarking the term “Sexpresso Machine by the way).

Or does it have to be as humanoid as possible? Like Westworld. That’s the dream of some people, to have a perfect woman around all the time that you don’t have to invest in emotionally.

Me? I just like the idea of having something hot going down while getting a little warm and wet below the table. Sure, humans beat robots on the expertise of the technique, but robots are fast learners and would probably be cleaner. You can’t catch cyber herpes.

The other funny thing is that Charvet is right. If all you have to do to recruit sex bots for your blowjob cafe is to build them, these fucking things are going to spread faster than Starbucks (or cyber herpes). Soon, there’s going to be one on every corner. Even with the blowjob up charge, the coffee is still probably going to be cheaper than Starbucks.

Here’s to the future!.

[via Huffington Post]

Image via Shutterstock