A Star Wars-Shirt And Yellow Crocs-Wearing Perp Gets Caught By LSU Police For Robbery
9 years ago

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According to an emergency text sent to LSU students, campus police are investigating a reported robbery. The suspect? A Star Wars shirt-wearing, yellow crocs-rocking middle-aged man. No, he didn’t steal yo girl, but it wouldn’t surprise me if he did.

You know this dude is straight swimming in the pussy. Roughly 98 percent of the females on LSU’s campus got turned on by that text alone. The other 2 percent are probably strong, independent women who don’t need no man. Psh. Sluts.

Police say the suspect, described as a black male in his 40s, demanded money from the victim before taking off — presumably to up his game and buy some Star Wars-themed crocs.

This for real has to be an all-time low. Who the hell is getting robbed by a dude in a Star Wars t-shirt and yellow crocs? If I got robbed by that dude, I’d be too embarrassed to report it to police.

There’s not a ton of information on the alleged crime so far, but LSU students don’t seem too worried about the croc-wearing criminal.

Savage.

Let’s hope they catch this guy. A prison jumpsuit has got to be a step up on his current style situation. I wonder if he listens to Nickelback and vapes too. He seems like the type.

We’ll keep you updated on this dangerous situation. Stay safe out there, fam.

Image via YouTube

  2. BloodyBunghole

    I’d give the guy some money… If I could get those sweet-ass yellow crocs out of the deal.

    9 years ago at 11:41 am
  3. Back In My Days

    Title being in direct contrast to the body of article. TTacoM.
    P.S. Don’t ever say “fam” again.

    9 years ago at 11:54 am
    1. DexterMorgan

      To be fair, LSU police did send another alert this morning that he had been caught. I can’t defend the use of “fam” though.

      9 years ago at 1:01 pm