Anarchists Might Attack the Political Conventions by Throwing Acid Filled Eggs…Yeah, Really
You’ve got to love anarchists. They’ve got so much flair. They’re like the Aerosmith of violent, irrational political groups. They’ve been around forever, but you’ve never met anyone who particularly likes them very much. And unlike other extreme groups, who sorta strike whenever there’s nothing on TV, anarchists are like clockwork. They always show up for the big, globally important events. International trade meetings, visits from foreign leaders, and (as we’ll soon discover) political party conventions. Take it away, Fox News:
Federal authorities are urging law enforcement agencies across the country to watch out for signs that extremists might be planning to wreak havoc at the upcoming political conventions — by blocking roads, shutting down transit systems and even employing what were described as acid-filled eggs.
Okay, so yeah, normal stuff. Blockades, attacking transportation, acid eggs…wait, what? That doesn’t even sound like a real thing. I Googled it, couldn’t find instructions anywhere, which is a bummer, because it stands to reason that if you can fill eggs with acid, you can fill them with booze, too.
My hypothesis? Genetically mutated chickens. Some enterprising anarcho-scientist fucked around with our favorite edible bird’s DNA, and now is in possession of the weirdest biological weapon I’ve ever heard of. Seems like a lot of work though. I’m just spitballing here, but couldn’t you put acid in a small glass jar and just throw that? Seems easier, but what I do I know? I’ve never had the urge to melt someone’s face off before.
- [via Fox News]
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Hey hey hey now, acid filled eggs? This might not be as bad as we first thought.
Acid as in corrosive liquid to burn through clothes and flesh?
Or acid as in hallucinogenic drugs?
….well on second thought, either way this might be that bad.
12 years ago at 12:33 pmhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42b-Inq6l6E
12 years ago at 5:15 pmThis sounds like the beginning of a Batman villain origin story.
12 years ago at 12:44 pmThe rise of Two Face…
12 years ago at 1:22 pmFavorite edible bird? Duck.
12 years ago at 3:11 pmGOD HATES ANARCHY! Stop rebelling against God or you’ll burn for it.
12 years ago at 4:51 pmAnd they wonder why nobody will hire them…
12 years ago at 9:26 pmThey do realize the police will fucking kill them right?
12 years ago at 11:57 pm