Apparently Dutch Bros Coffee Is Making College Kids Rich AF


Hey you.

Are you broke and hopeless, working at a Burger King drive thru? Did that Social Media degree not really pan out for you? Or maybe you blew your chance at an internship with a certain major college-related media company because you brought Dorn’s beer a degree too warm and he gave you the sack? I mean he literally tied you into a trash bag and left you on the curb to be picked up by a garbage truck.

Maybe you should open a Dutch Bros franchise.

From Forbes:

Kristen Von Tersch, a 28-year-old college dropout with a pierced nose, owns five Dutch Bros. drive-through coffee franchises in the sleepy southern Oregon town of Klamath Falls. A year ago she was making $35,000 as a regional manager. Now her stores are on track to gross nearly $4 million, leaving her $230,000 in profit.

To buy her five franchises, she had to put up only $5,000. By contrast, Dunkin’ Donuts requires franchisees to have liquid assets of at least $250,000 and a net worth of $500,000 per store. To cover the rest of her investment, including the $30,000-per-store franchise fees plus depreciated equipment costs, Dutch Bros. loaned her $250,000 at 12% interest, amortized over ten years. She pays rent on the real estate and a royalty of 7% of her gross.

You have to actually work for the company for a couple years to get this deal, but hey, you’re not doing much better at BK. Become a Frappe Bro/American-ho. Go learn how to sell sugary horse cum to high school students. The greatest thing about America is that even a worthless loser like you can make something of yourself if you put in the effort.

[via Forbes]

Image via YouTube

      1. keg__atron69

        Ya but why is specifically bud light platinum NF? You guys keep saying that but then never say why.

        8 years ago at 11:46 am
    1. That Last Beer

      Because Bud Light Platinums are what your trailer trash parents buy to “class it up” for your uncle’s Get Out of Jail Party.

      8 years ago at 1:59 pm
  1. Bush Light

    Thank you, Forbes, for saying she has a pierced nose. That added a whole lot to the story. As if I wouldn’t have thought she was hippie as fuck in the first place for dropping out of college and opening up her own coffee shop.

    8 years ago at 10:22 am
    1. Fraddington_bear

      I mean, I do feel like a pierced nose adds at least at 15% increase to the likelihood of buttstuff.

      8 years ago at 11:07 am
      1. Bush Light

        Yeah that’s true. But is buttstuff with a hippie worth it? Asking for a friend.

        8 years ago at 11:21 am
      2. Brother Gumby

        I don’t think anyone would turn down the holy hippy combo of buttstuff and free weed

        8 years ago at 11:41 am
  2. Chadwick Brice

    Your suggesting that I drop out of school, obtain body piercings, and open a coffee shop? So long gents, looks like we’ve finally been hijacked by the liberals.

    8 years ago at 1:41 pm
    1. Brother Gumby

      Hey, dropping out worked for Zuckerberg and Gates. Making bank off of minimal work…that’s a real TFM

      8 years ago at 2:40 pm