Ariana Grande Desecrates Donut, Says She Hates America, Breaks My Heart

Screen Shot 2015-07-08 at 5.28.27 PM copy

When my fraternity and I gathered ‘round the television with a big bowl of low-fat popcorn to binge watch some Disney Channel – just bros bein’ bros – I fell in love with Ariana Grande the instant I saw her. Big doe eyes. Tight little body. A luscious, flowing ponytail begging to be pulled on while you disappoint her from behind.

Screen Shot 2015-07-08 at 5.39.08 PM copy

Hnnnghhh

Then, she sang the national anthem at the Seahawks-Packers season opener last year, and I knew the feelings I had for her were real.

But guess what? She was lying through her fucking teeth when she made those tears form in the corner of my eyes to her beautiful rendition of the Star Spangled Banner. Ariana doesn’t care about the bombs bursting in air or the flag that was still there. She doesn’t care about the ramparts, either. THE FUCKING RAMPARTS. Turns out, Ariana Grande hates America.

In this heartbreaking footage captured by TMZ, watch as the love of my life shits all over two of the things I care about most in this world. First, she desecrates a donut – a sacred American symbol. Then, she peer pressures her whipped ass boy toy to do the same before sucking face with him. Finally, once a fresh tray of donuts are brought to her, she says it:

“What the fuck is that? I hate Americans. I hate America.”

The MLB promptly yanked her performance in the MLB All-Star Game. Good. She since apologized, but what was said can never be unsaid.

Why would you do this, Ariana? Why would you do this to me? Why would you do this to US? I thought what we had WAS SPECIAL.

[via YouTube]

Image via YouTube

    1. Larry_Sellers

      Let’s be honest, I would’ve expected this from a lot of the TFM staff at this point. But not you, Boosh. Not you.

      10 years ago at 7:20 pm
  1. TheWolfOfGettysburg

    I think I speak for the community in stating that if you don’t start posting sharkys articles we will have to conclude that you don’t like shark week, Ipso facto you hate America. Your move.

    10 years ago at 6:08 pm
      1. Whiskey in the Jar

        I just saw on sharkweek that sharks are some of the most successful animals on the planet, having survived mass extinctions and shit. Way to go.

        And there are 510 species of sharks. They all seem to get along unlike us single human species. #yesallsharks

        10 years ago at 10:39 pm
  2. Spongey

    I could give two shits about what that little twat is doing. Give us Sharkweek articles and fire the intern already.

    10 years ago at 6:15 pm
  3. Bluto_Brotarsky

    Fuck her, fuck the intern, fuck RadFem and ThirdWave, fuck the Chive, and bring back the forums.

    10 years ago at 7:00 pm
  4. Larry_Sellers

    From this point on, for every post that isn’t something by SharkWeek I will cut off one of the intern’s fingers. Since this will also play a role in inhibiting him from posting shitty videos, “top TFMs of the day,” etc, we all still win even if there aren’t any SharkWeek articles.

    10 years ago at 7:01 pm
    1. Frat_Pack_It

      He didn’t post fail friday last week so at this point I’d say just shoot the intern and be done with it

      10 years ago at 11:04 am
  5. Luke_Fratwalker

    Chive is the only one to post anything related to Shark Week, no Fail Friday and a fucking TMZ post. What has happened to this site…

    10 years ago at 7:09 pm