Ask Intern Sydney

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1. Like the articles. Keep up the good work. I wanted to ask you about a situation that I feel like a lot of guys face. I had a good friend of mine, known him for 12 years, who I hung out with almost every day spring semester. He got with his girlfriend about the beginning of the fall semester. Now in April, I started noticing him going on Tinder so I jokingly said don’t think you should be doing that and he said it wasn’t anything serious so I left it there. His GF two weeks ago told me she got suspicious of him cheating and I said I might have seen him on Tinder but I don’t think it was a big deal. Few nights ago, she went to his apartment went through his phone, said I told her that he had been seeing other girls (I didn’t). Turns out he had been cheating on her with 15 different girls, now he hates me because she told him I led her on the trail (I didn’t, she was already suspicious) Now his friends are coming after me for not being a bro or whatever. My question is why does the dude cheating never get blamed? I may have lost my bro card, for whatever thats worth, but I’m the only adult in this scenario.

My question is how does this douchebag think he can cheat on someone with 15 girls and not get caught? Most guys can’t even cheat with one girl without getting caught. Would be lowkey impressed if I wasn’t so disgusted. Girls (and guys) always want to put the blame on the person they don’t care about. Not sure why but that’s always how it goes. I’d say screw the whole scenario and find a new group of friends that’s not involved in so much drama.

2. Assuming the guy meets your standard and you were interested, would you hook up with a guy not in a fraternity? If not, any reason why?

Freshman year me would have been mortified to be caught with a non-Greek boyfriend. I’ve dated both guys in fraternities and “GDIs.” Plus side of dating a guy in a fraternity is obvious: shoo-in for all events, free t-shirts, plethora of new boys for your single friends, etc. Fraternity guys can also be very cocky and that’s not always a fun trait. Typically, this is a case by case thing but I wouldn’t discriminate against Greek or non-Greek at this point in my life.

3. Good Afternoon Sydney,

How are you? I wanted to reach out to you and see if you would be interested in joining our College Primetime Team.

(Took out the remaining BS explaining the job to save you all of boredom) Why in the hell would any competing website with TFM offer me a job? Not to mention, one that literally gets 13 likes on their Instagram photos. This is not the first account to reach out to me, but if you’re going to offer me a job, shouldn’t you make sure you’re better than the company I already intern for (not even possible, obviously).

4. I’m going to a big university in Canada next year. Up here, Greek life is less prominent for some reason. The only reason other then parties to join a frat in my mind are the connections you can make. Should I still rush a frat if it isn’t as big of a deal? Also I’m not the stereotypical looking frat guy; I’m athletic, but not ridiculously built or anything. Thanks.

Wait, did I just read that right? “I’m not the stereotypical looking frat guy; I’m athletic, but not ridiculously built or anything” ??? Have you heard of the “dad bod” epidemic? It’s horrible. Then there’s the opposite end of the spectrum: boys walking around in Greek letters drinking Lime-A-Ritas that I could probably beat up. Sorry, got distracted. Back to the question: Yes you should definitely still rush a fraternity. Even if you come to find it’s not all you were looking for, you’ll make friends and still get to go to all the parties.

5. What’s your favorite thing to do in Texas while you have a short break from school/work?

You realize Texas is like twice the size of Germany? It takes 13 hours to get from one border to another. There are deserts in the west and an ocean in the southeast. There are canyons, valleys, flatlands, rivers, and hills. So to answer your question, my most favorite thing to do in Texas while I have a short break from school/work is still Netflix in bed.

6. I graduated college last December but still have friends there and are still good friends with the younger guys in my fraternity. At what point does it become creepy for the out of college guy to still be hanging out with his old fraternity? I’m only 24. Thanks. Hope for an answer.

You need to specify “hanging out with the fraternity.” Are you just occasionally grabbing a drink with a brother? Then there’s nothing wrong with it. Are you still going to their themed parties? Now that’s creepy as hell and you should stop because there are 18-year-old girls dressed as baby prostitutes there. Soon you’re going to be “only 25” and that’s like, old.

7. Do you get more incredibly rude and degrading questions from egotistical guys or creepy, over-complementary, sexual questions from horny guys? I’ve pondered this since the start of this column and have debated with my buddies and we gotta believe it’s pretty close? Keep doing you, Sydney, your hilarious and we love it.

Definitely more of the creepy over-complementary. You’ll know within the first sentence of reading because they’ll start with “this isn’t a question.” Then why the hell are you messaging me? After last week’s article, I let a softer side of me show. Consequently, I received 107 emails from boys taking that as in invite to kiss my asshole. The first few were a nice read, then I realized I preferred death threats over a bunch of losers trying to get into my pants.

8. First off, love your TFM stuff, keep doing what you’re doing Syd. My question is would you go with one of my fraternity brothers to our yacht formal in Newport, Ca in August?? ⛴

“Yacht formal” is probably more like pontoon boat with a handle of Fireball. Hard pass.

9. Is it actually worth all the of offensive, abusive, and borderline pestering emails you get to be a tfm intern?

Well I’m not a little bitch, so yes.

10.My son was on this website and when I was checking his phone I saw and read your Q&A. Little advice and take it for what is worth which is nothing. You aren’t saying anything wrong or inappropriate but..Nothing good comes from being honest or sarcastic on social media. All of this will unfortunately come back to you later in life. Make sure it is truly worth it now because it will unfortunately be thrown in your face later on in life. Happened to me and I am still paying for it.

How old is your son? And if he’s old enough to be reading this website, why the hell are you checking his phone? From your email signature I see you’re a lawyer. Lawyer carries a lot more weight than trophy wife, but I appreciate your concern. (kidding I will probably never get hired after working here YOLO)

11. Me and my ex broke up in the spring not on bad terms, but at the same time not on good terms. We haven’t talked since then and now we have an event with her sorority at the beginning of the school year in the fall. In order to have the best time possible and not feel awkward hitting on her sisters, should I try clearing the air with her before the event or go and pretend she’s not even there?

All girls are crazy. Clearing the air or not, she’s going to go apeshit if you hit on her friends. If you clear the air prior, you’re most likely going to get plastered and go home together. Still a possibility if you don’t talk to her before. Probably your best option if you don’t want the night ending in tears.

12. I understand that you dedicated last week to being as inoffensive as possible, and while I felt fresh I think there lies an inherent thrill in seeing people’s questions get roasted. My suggestion for you would be to create two similar ask Sydney type articles per week: one where you are legitimately responding to people’s concerns and one where you deliberately unleash the true extent of your sarcasm onto deserving self-entitled brats.

This is why you don’t work at TFM. That was a horrible suggestion. Do everyone a favor and staple your hands to your ass.

13. Where is Fail Friday?

I’m not in charge of Fail Friday.

I’ll be in Spain the next few weeks, so don’t miss me too much, readers. Send me some questions to come back to at

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    1. Jabba the PizzaHutt

      While you’re there over the next few weeks, try not to get gang raped.

      8 years ago at 1:10 pm
  1. MayorOfFlavorTown

    I would rather shove my dick into a blender, throw in some lemons, and blast it on high while I listened to a whole Meghan Trainor album than read another one of Intern Salmonella’s “articles,” if they can be called such.

    8 years ago at 1:14 pm
  2. ThePatternIsFull

    Funny how you act like working for TFM is a major accomplishment. Get out in the world and get a real job, you entitled, egotistical, manic, idiotic schlub.

    8 years ago at 1:15 pm

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