Being Left-Handed Is A Choice And An Abomination

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Some southpaw sympathizing chump that serves as a student government leader at the University of New Orleans recently expressed that right-hand dominant individuals should be next in line to “check their privilege.” This heathen, Darius Miner, serves on UNO’s SGA as Chief Justice and believes society has a bias to righties and only caters to their needs.

College Reform:

Miner calls on right-handed people to check their privilege, observing that “I didn’t realize for a while that nearly everything is structured for convenient use by right[-]handed people, from school supplies to the structure of houses,” and that left-handers often have to deal with discomfort as a result.

“Don’t try to silence a left-handed person who complains about scissors hurting their hand or how uncomfortable school desks are to sit in, or the struggle of having dirty hands from writing in pencil,” he advises righties, adding that they should also support increasing the number of left-handed desks in classrooms.

Oh, it looks like you just got done jerking off the Tin Man every time you take notes? You know who else’s hands were dripping in silver? Judas’ after he sold Jesus down the river to be fucking crucified. Coincidence? I think not. Being left-handed is an abomination.

It’s clear as day in the Bible.

Matthew 6:3

But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing.

You just can’t trust lefties. They’re snakes. All of them.

Not to mention, there’s no scientific evidence that proves people are born with this plague. Why? It’s a choice. Maybe if you picked up those safety scissors the way God intended, your little decrepit left hand wouldn’t hurt so much. That’s the price for living a life of wickedness and sin. Convert to a path of RIGHTeousness or be damned to a can openerless hell.

[via College Reform]

Image via Shutterstock

  1. Don_Frat

    I’m a left handed person, never really thought about what this guy is saying, but now that I think about it I guess I still don’t give a fuck.

    9 years ago at 5:46 pm
    1. ijustcameheretofrat

      I mean really it’s just a pain in the ass to find a softball mitt for the once annual philanthropy game but other than that this guy is a raging asshat.

      9 years ago at 6:00 pm
  2. AnotherOne1

    Well scissor use stops after 6th grade art since only sororities decorate, and my desk is generally occupied by someone else so being a lefty rarely matters except for which hand is holding my beer

    9 years ago at 5:54 pm
  3. A Well Known Result

    Rocky was left-handed and Delco-garbage like yourself loved that guy, Dano.

    9 years ago at 6:07 pm
    1. Uptown Frat

      Rocky was right handed and had to switch to southpaw after an eye injury. Did you have a childhood

      9 years ago at 9:06 pm
      1. BigDJ12

        He was lefty and hurt his right eye so he switched to righty to protect it in his 2nd fight against creed and then switched back to southpaw to finish him

        9 years ago at 9:25 pm
      2. Uptown Frat

        His first fight that they showed against spider Rico, he fought right handed

        9 years ago at 9:55 pm
  4. TheEmperor

    #lefthandedlivesmatter

    it’s actually impressive that you found someone more pathetic than Holt. Fuck this guy ( and I’m left handed ).

    9 years ago at 6:25 pm
      1. TheEmperor

        I just thought he and Holt would make a nice couple. But I’ll lace them up

        9 years ago at 7:05 pm
  5. Constantines_cross

    Being leftie isn’t really that inconvenient, it’s just a bitch to buy clubs

    9 years ago at 6:39 pm
    1. Grenade_Diving_Wingman

      Being a right handed and golfing leftie I can sympathize with this. How the hell am I supposed to know if this is a good driver when the head is on backwards?

      9 years ago at 7:47 pm
  6. YaKAov

    Hahahaha ok, watch me make more money than all u with my left hand only pussies

    9 years ago at 7:32 pm