Being Left-Handed Is A Choice And An Abomination
Some southpaw sympathizing chump that serves as a student government leader at the University of New Orleans recently expressed that right-hand dominant individuals should be next in line to “check their privilege.” This heathen, Darius Miner, serves on UNO’s SGA as Chief Justice and believes society has a bias to righties and only caters to their needs.
Miner calls on right-handed people to check their privilege, observing that “I didn’t realize for a while that nearly everything is structured for convenient use by right[-]handed people, from school supplies to the structure of houses,” and that left-handers often have to deal with discomfort as a result.
“Don’t try to silence a left-handed person who complains about scissors hurting their hand or how uncomfortable school desks are to sit in, or the struggle of having dirty hands from writing in pencil,” he advises righties, adding that they should also support increasing the number of left-handed desks in classrooms.
Oh, it looks like you just got done jerking off the Tin Man every time you take notes? You know who else’s hands were dripping in silver? Judas’ after he sold Jesus down the river to be fucking crucified. Coincidence? I think not. Being left-handed is an abomination.
It’s clear as day in the Bible.
Matthew 6:3
But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing.
You just can’t trust lefties. They’re snakes. All of them.
Not to mention, there’s no scientific evidence that proves people are born with this plague. Why? It’s a choice. Maybe if you picked up those safety scissors the way God intended, your little decrepit left hand wouldn’t hurt so much. That’s the price for living a life of wickedness and sin. Convert to a path of RIGHTeousness or be damned to a can openerless hell..
[via College Reform]
Image via Shutterstock

My disregard for political correctness increases tenfold with each PC story I come across
10 years ago at 7:40 pmI’m seriously thinking about creating a youtube series called “The Human Trigger Warning.” Basically I dress up like a superhero and offend people while establishing “Unsafe Spaces”
10 years ago at 8:34 pmchange unsafe space to danger zone and I’d watch
10 years ago at 4:03 amHave you ever tried to find a set of left handed golf clubs?!?!?! It’s like trying to find the g spot
10 years ago at 9:12 pmExcept the golf clubs exist
10 years ago at 9:19 pmI write left handed and throw and do sports right, so am I only half an abomination?
10 years ago at 9:20 pmNope… being half-left-handed… that’s like pissing in only half the punchbowl… you’re still all abomination… straight to hell with you!
The only thing my left hand is used for is fondling my nuts when I’m jacking it… so heaven for me.
10 years ago at 10:32 amIt’s bullshit to claim southpaws are “abominations” when we generally live more longer and successful lives than are heathen right handed counterparts.
10 years ago at 9:38 pmWord structure. You suck at it.
10 years ago at 11:36 pmStructure is a left brain function, case in point.
10 years ago at 12:05 pmMost of us leftys aren’t liberal, PC pussys. Fuck that suspect, giving us a bad name.
10 years ago at 10:24 pmYOU ARE A STUPID FUCKING BITCH. GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU SOUND STUPID AS FUCK. YOU CANT CHOOSE WHETHER OR NOT YOU ARE A LEFT HANDED PERSON OR NOT YOU DUMB ASS BITCH!
10 years ago at 11:47 pmOpened comments expecting only jacking off jokes. Was not disappointed.
10 years ago at 1:24 amDan is as good at writing columns as he is at leg day. We’ve seen those chicken legs Dan, you lazy fuck.
10 years ago at 9:07 am