Braves Fan Bare Hands Foul Ball, Is Shitty Parent
12 years ago

To the awesome Braves fan who sacrificed the safety of his infant child to make the totally unnecessary, yet quite impressive, one-handed foul ball catch yesterday, I have David Letterman on line one. He wants to book you as soon as possible. Unfortunately though, CPS is on line two. And to his precariously carefree wife that nearly witnessed the demise of her baby from only feet away, you should not be okay with this development.

I imagine the man’s thought process went something like this, beginning with the moment the baseball left the bat and headed his direction:

Oh, hell yes. I’ve never caught a foul ball before and this motherfucker is coming right at me.

Quick, stand up. You need to be able maneuver.

Should I pimp this? Nah, just make the catch. Nothing fancy.

What else? Am I forgetting a step?

Oh shit, I’m still holding my kid. Should I drop him?

Fuck it. He’ll have a good story when he’s older.

* catches ball with bare hand, holds onto baby *

Shit, I’m a dead man.

Or am I? The wife seems happy still. What is wrong with her? I almost killed our kid for a damn baseball.

I hope the cameras didn’t catch this.

    2. Fraterick Southgate

      God Damnit! I just got back from the lab, alright, I’m headed out to collect some data.

      12 years ago at 1:57 pm
    3. UncleTomsFratcastle

      Just ran it through the system, and it’s merely a rough conclusion, but it seems as though something was, indeed, done here.

      12 years ago at 2:06 pm
    7. Bro_penhagen

      After reviewing the footage, the ruling on whether or not something was done here – yup, something was done.

      12 years ago at 3:55 pm
    9. FratifiedRedneck

      Ruling on the field: The thing that, yes, was clearly done, was truly American

      12 years ago at 11:09 am