Burglar Breaks Into Alabama Man’s House, Tries To Get High Off His Wife’s Ashes

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It takes a special kind of moron to break into someone’s home with the intention of stealing that person’s shit. Thieves are some of the lowest of the low, so I presume none of you are surprised by burglars committing despicable crimes.

Somewhere in Alabama, a scumbag druggie is wondering how he failed to get high off of the shit he found in Phillip McMullen’s house. McMullen, a Vietnam veteran, came home last week to discover someone had broken into his house and attempted to smoke his deceased wife’s ashes.

From Fox10TV:

“(The burglar) ransacked my house, tried to break in my gun safe, which, they weren’t able to, they even took my wife’s ashes off my headboard, strewed them around, looked like they tried to smoke some of them or something,” McMullen said, “I guess they figured out this stuff ain’t worth smoking, so they threw it up underneath one of my toolboxes.”

McMullen said he thinks the burglar thought the ashes were drugs, since the ashes were kept in a plastic box, rather than a metal urn.

“Tried it out to see if it was some kind of drugs, and I bet that was a nasty taste when they (did) that though,” said McMullen.

What a shitbag. Who just smokes random crap they find in a box? Besides, Obama has been president for more than five years. Shouldn’t weed be part of the government dole by now? I definitely hoped for that “change.”

Sadly, the idiotic fugitive was able to steal several items from McMullen’s home. However, police say, should the allegations of the burglar smoking ashes be confirmed, additional charges will be filed.

The burglar was able to break in McMullen’s house through a window, the victim told FOX10. Once inside, the thief stole some 15 items, according to the Mobile County Sheriff’s Office, including a generator, chainsaw, knife and fishing rods and reels. McMullen said he was furious when he first saw what happened.

“It’s hard to put in words, it makes me want to fight again, and I don’t like to fight,” said McMullen. “I don’t know if God will forgive them for what they’ve done or not.”

“If someone did something like this, that’s just horrible,” said Lori Myles, with the Mobile County Sheriff’s Office, “and if we do prove that he has tampered with this urn, there will be additional charges, such as desecration of a grave.”

People are sick.

[via Fox10TV]