Cabrera to Police: “Fuck you. Do you know who I am?”
13 years ago

Miguel Cabrera, 27-year-old first baseman for the Detroit Tigers, has had problems with drinking for a while. Well, it looks like ol’ Miguel had a bit of a relapse. He was arrested late Wednesday night on suspicion of driving under the influence of alcohol and two counts of resisting an officer without violence.

The cops found Cabrera in his vehicle on the side of the road with the engine smoking. Miguel was having some trouble speaking clearly. According to the report: “His eyes were bloodshot and watery and his speech was…heavily slurred.”

The cops asked Cabrera who was with him, and his response was, “I’m going to (expletive) kill him.” Yet, deputies didn’t see anyone else around, or in the vehicle, according to the affidavit. Getting so shitfaced that you make death threats to nonexistent people in front of police. TFM?

Police say Cabrera picked up a bottle of Scotch and began drinking it in front of them, refused a breathalyzer test, and then resisted when being placed under arrest. He repeatedly asked police, “Do you know who I am?” He had to be held down while refusing to comply and said again, “Do you know who I am? You don’t know anything about my problems.” When police asked him to get into the car he said, “Fuck you. Do you know who I am?” This was after he’d given police his passport, so at this point, they knew who he was. Well, the cops reached their threshold of shit talking, hit Mr. Cabrera with “3-4 knee spikes into his left thigh muscle,” and threw his drunk ass in the car.

Sleep it off, Miguel.

  3. Frank Eaton

    Being not American. NF. Playing baseball. NF. Drinking and driving. NF. Having facial hair that’s not a mustache. NF.

    Literally everything about this is not frat.

    13 years ago at 1:04 pm
    5. Frank Eaton

      I won’t disagree about that. He was raised and lived in the South. He was a U.S. Marshall and hunted down the six dickheads that shot his father. He is the inspiration to the greatest collegiate mascot in this great nation. That’s a TFM.

      13 years ago at 1:16 pm
    8. Natural Fratstar

      @ Frank Eaton’s original post: how can you say that America’s pastime, baseball, is NF?

      13 years ago at 2:34 pm
    9. YEEEEEE

      Baseball being NF? It’s America’s past time, it is definitely FaF. Someone’s dad never bought him a glove when he was a kid.

      13 years ago at 2:35 pm
    10. Frat Ryan

      Baseball is American as shit. This falls into the Charlie Sheen area. He himself is not frat, but his actions last night were.

      13 years ago at 2:51 pm
    13. BrOklahoma State

      Frank Eaton is a great american and my alma mater’s mascot (Pistol Pete), voted best in the country.

      13 years ago at 3:14 pm
    16. WillisLamponi

      The STATE school. NF. Owning the STATE school in everything that matters. TFM. Also, sorry y’all suck in baseball now. We’re fucking awesome.

      13 years ago at 1:48 am
    18. Davy Frockett

      Baseball is a blue collar sport? Baseball players are the highest paid athletes in the world. TFM. If anything, golf is a blue collar sport. Any jackass can go buy a set of clubs for $100 and go to the local par 3 for $5.

      13 years ago at 2:47 pm
  8. Louisiana TFM

    Miguel Cabrera. NF. Asking the police do you know who I am and the cop not giving a fuck. TFM

    13 years ago at 5:20 pm
    1. Frataholic

      Cop finding out who you are & not giving a fuck. NF Cop finding out who you are and following you home so you get there safe. TFM

      13 years ago at 4:32 am
  10. btk601

    I think it is hilarious that he is smiling in his mugshot. Probably because he knows he is making a ton of money and his coach doesn’t give a shit. That is TFM

    13 years ago at 11:30 pm