Cam Newton Not So Stealthily Makes HGH Reference In Farewell Post To Peyton Manning
9 years ago

I’ve been pretty indifferent on Cam, even after the whole post Super Bowl fiasco. Here I am, a white guy that’s all about #sports, and I was neither on my knees trying blow Cam more tenderly than every other pale-skinned writer trying to prove how much of a non-racist they are, or in the equally as outrageous “kids who idolize Newton will grow up to be total cockbags” camp.

That changed today, when Cam joined in with every athlete on the planet to pay their respects to a retiring Peyton Manning.

Screen Shot 2016-03-07 at 2.33.55 PM

Notice anything?

Enhance.

2

Cam, you sly son of a gun. This is incredible. You’ve officially won me over to the strokefest. What grip do you prefer? Old-fashion or western? Dry rub or should I bust out the KY Jelly?

Wait? There’s potentially more?

3

Sure, it’s a bit of a reach, and you certainly aren’t huge on spelling, but are you dropping Tennessee tea bagging references, too? I want to believe. No, I NEED to believe that was your intention. This word gets tossed around excessively, but that would be an absolute SAVAGE move.

If you aren’t salty or hold grudges over losses, you’re either lying or lack even a single curly hair on your coin purse. Michael Jordan still had a chip on his shoulder and was roasting mofos that doubted him during his fucking hall of fame speech. That’s just how winners operate. Cam kicking Peyton’s old Papa John eating ass on the way out the door is a sign that he’s ready to take it to the next level. Give me the Panthers holding up the Lombardi Trophy at the end of the 2016-2017 season.

Image via Instagram

  2. Cam Newtons college roommate

    Has anyone seen my laptop? I could have sworn it was in my dorm this morning…

    9 years ago at 3:53 pm
      1. Peter Griffin

        I’ll take the laps, but I don’t get it. He actually threw the laptop out the back window when the cops showed up.

        9 years ago at 9:34 pm
    4. Cam Newtons college roommate

      Thanks for all of the concern guys but I still haven’t found it. I’ve reported it to the University of Florida campus police and they are investigating it. I’m sure whomever stole it will be held accountable and punished accordingly.

      9 years ago at 6:55 pm
  3. BalledSoHardUniversity

    This whole article is a stretch. Come up with some actual content.

    9 years ago at 3:53 pm
  6. Him

    Hey shithead, if you took 90 seconds to look you could find at least 3 other Instagram posts with the same spelling.

    9 years ago at 4:20 pm
      1. Dan Regester

        You’re taking this way too seriously, but the second time he spells it is with an “i” not a “1.”

        9 years ago at 4:32 pm
  7. FrayettevilleLegend

    To be fair, it’s pretty obvious he’s illiterate. I wouldn’t dare to assume he could be that clever on purpose.

    9 years ago at 4:29 pm
      1. FrayettevilleLegend

        I mean, sure. Or it could be that his post was 80% incorrect spelling and 15% punctuation mistakes. Either he is illiterate or that was his first experience with a keyboard. 0R M4B33 that’s the w4y the kull keds spels nao, yo…!..

        9 years ago at 8:44 pm