Canada Sends Spy Robot To Collect Intel On America, Philadelphia Saves The Day And Beheads The S.O.B.
9 years ago

Screen Shot 2015-08-03 at 12.26.10 PM

You’re welcome, America. Say what you will about Philadelphia, but some fine, outstanding citizen of my hometown just did this country a huge solid.

HitchBOT was supposedly a Canadian study on how humans would interact with robotics. This miniature, immobile “Lost in Space” looking fraud that relied solely on the kindness (obliviousness) of strangers was set to travel across the United States, starting in New England and ending its journey in San Francisco.

A photo posted by Kyle J. Silva (@kylejsilva) on

Good one, Canada. You think you can pull a fast one on us like that? Not in Philly. We’re not falling for your whole “Oh, golly gee willikers” charade you put on for the rest of the world to see. No one is that polite. You sneaky maple syrup snorting, beaver fucking, Drake fanboys were up to no good. “Hitchhiking robot?” Kick rocks, Canucks. That was straight espionage.

Thankfully, some patriot, most likely from Delco, saw right through your lies like they were a glass of Molson Canadian 67 and ripped the head clean off this R2D2 with pool noodle extremities.

America!

h/t NBC News

Image via Twitter

  3. starsandstripes94

    That literally wasn’t the purpose of this thing at all. You’re an idiot.

    9 years ago at 12:36 pm
    3. GeedsAreRuiningAmerica

      You literally don’t understand the purpose of a satirical website.

      9 years ago at 12:41 pm
  6. Paulie Walnuts

    Philadelphia, where the Declaration of Independence was signed, and a Canadian spy was beheaded.

    9 years ago at 12:39 pm
  9. Bluto_Brotarsky

    Obviously they were conducting research on how we survive without Tim Horton’s and Stagg chili.

    9 years ago at 12:52 pm
      1. Dornos_Parole_Officer

        You seem hostile. Did your EBT card get cancelled at Bojangles again?

        9 years ago at 2:10 pm
  11. Brodell

    Leave it to Canada to tape pool noodles to a trashcan and expect people to not fuck with it.

    9 years ago at 12:56 pm
      2. KA PsiGuy

        From the looks of it, a bunch of bigots, racists, lowlifes and people who I’m about to be a lot more succesful them due not only to afirmative action but my lack of reading this hateful websitee

        9 years ago at 1:57 pm
      8. Fratasaurus

        Looking at KA Psiguy’s atrocious grammar and english, it’s clear he’s the same “YoureWrong” middle school peasant.

        9 years ago at 2:41 pm
      9. KA PsiGuy

        Thats not what your girlfriend/wife/mom said when I was giving her that BBC when you were still in the cradle

        9 years ago at 2:44 pm
      10. sdh266

        Thank you for confirming stereotypical TNB. Muh dik will get you far in life #fuckoffbacktoApefrica

        9 years ago at 4:58 pm
      12. fratmanbeyond

        Whoa there bud. Let’s start with square one which is learning how to write a sentence.

        9 years ago at 9:08 pm
      13. Dizzy_Bat

        “at least they treat they are minorities rite”

        Good English. You’ll go far in life.

        9 years ago at 2:06 pm
      14. sdh266

        How would you know? Canada barely has any minorities. Consider your black ass lucky you have the freedom to say this, otherwise we’d beat your commie ass up and youd run away to the NAACP crying raycism and sheeeeiiittttt

        9 years ago at 5:23 pm
      16. sdh266

        Look at the total population as a whole. The higher north you go, the less blacks youll see. Sadly America has to deal with a minority thats 13% of the total population, yet commits 53% of the total crime.

        9 years ago at 6:25 pm
      17. sdh266

        Downvote this all you want, but the FBI crime stats dont lie #factsarentracist #blacklivesarefecalmatter #TNBneedstostop

        9 years ago at 12:59 am