Canada Sends Spy Robot To Collect Intel On America, Philadelphia Saves The Day And Beheads The S.O.B.
You’re welcome, America. Say what you will about Philadelphia, but some fine, outstanding citizen of my hometown just did this country a huge solid.
HitchBOT was supposedly a Canadian study on how humans would interact with robotics. This miniature, immobile “Lost in Space” looking fraud that relied solely on the kindness (obliviousness) of strangers was set to travel across the United States, starting in New England and ending its journey in San Francisco.
My trip must come to an end for now, but my love for humans will never fade. Thanks friends: http://t.co/DabYmi6OxH pic.twitter.com/sJPVSxeawg
— hitchBOT (@hitchBOT) August 1, 2015
Taking in another sight #hitchBOT #hitchBOTinUSA pic.twitter.com/oqbcdFVcN5
— ryan sokolowski (@sokmelousy) July 26, 2015
Good one, Canada. You think you can pull a fast one on us like that? Not in Philly. We’re not falling for your whole “Oh, golly gee willikers” charade you put on for the rest of the world to see. No one is that polite. You sneaky maple syrup snorting, beaver fucking, Drake fanboys were up to no good. “Hitchhiking robot?” Kick rocks, Canucks. That was straight espionage.
Thankfully, some patriot, most likely from Delco, saw right through your lies like they were a glass of Molson Canadian 67 and ripped the head clean off this R2D2 with pool noodle extremities.
Canada's hitchhiking robot lasts just two weeks in US before getting decapitated. http://t.co/802FBRUMho #smh pic.twitter.com/0bJexW3igk
— Lauren O'Neil (@laurenonizzle) August 2, 2015
America!.
h/t NBC News
Image via Twitter
God Damn Right
9 years ago at 1:02 pmNow they’re sending him to live with his uncle out in bel air
9 years ago at 1:03 pmIiin some part of Canada I was made,
9 years ago at 2:26 pmChuggin syrup in flanels is how I spent most of my days,
Hitchhiking, sight seeing and chugging syrup with tools,
I wanted to get out of Canada where I was freezing my jewels,
When a couple of guys who were up to no good,
Dropped me off in Philly somewhere in the hood,
Thugs took my arms and I was quite scared,
And that’s how I died on my way to Bel Air
This isn’t horrible
9 years ago at 4:58 pmone of the better comments ever posted
9 years ago at 5:57 pmOnly robotic interaction that would be successful here involves a fleshlight.
9 years ago at 1:03 pmYou can’t trust any country that thinks ketchup chips are an acceptable thing to eat.
9 years ago at 1:12 pmThis robot was checking if it was safe for drake to come back to philly
9 years ago at 1:17 pmMeek Mill is taking this shit hard…
9 years ago at 2:51 pmThey should have know. That visiting teams and mascots are generally not
greeted or treated with much respect. Especially Canadian spy robots.
We should have thrown fucking snowballs at it.
In all seriousness Philadelphia is actually a pretty great bar scene city.
9 years ago at 1:18 pmWell considering the last time we let a Canadian make it out to California we got stuck with Justin Beiber I’d say this was just smart thinking.
9 years ago at 1:20 pmWell apparently it’s not always Sunny in Philadelphia
9 years ago at 1:32 pmTook notes on how to get rid of something/someone. #DecapitateSteveHolt
9 years ago at 1:52 pmThis will set Canadian robotics technology back 100 years. That piece of shit looks like it came out of a 5th grade science fair. I could literally build a better robot with empty Natty cans, a microwave and a box of dildos.
9 years ago at 1:58 pmIf those dildos are vibrators, especially ones with multiple speed settings, you’d have yourself a good amount of electronics to work with -Fratgineer
9 years ago at 9:16 pm