Of course I brought my golf umbrella. Small umbrellas are for cold, wet serfs. TFM. john daly15 years ago
Picked up a 30 yr old slampiece divorcee at a bar, piped her back at her house and peed on the floor of her kitchen-blamed it on her 2 year old son. TFM. Brozy Altidore15 years ago
Got my second DUI driving home from the river. Luckily, I've always been a two strike hitter. TFM. Anonymous15 years ago
Just found out I'm spending Labor Day weekend hunting doves on the family plantation that we've owned since 1714. TFM. Southern Bourbon15 years ago
Wasn't going to get out of bed today. Decided to go blow a ton of daddy's cash on Tory, Chanel, and Prada instead. TSM Anonymous15 years ago
Locating the hyperactive kid in rush every year and automatically giving him a bid to ensure the plentiful supply of amphetamine based study pills. TFM. Frat Norris15 years ago