Chandler Parsons Signs Offer Sheet While Raging At Club With Mark Cuban
Mavs owner Mark Cuban is at it again, this time with restricted free agent Chandler Parsons, doing his best Johnny Manziel impression by inking his three-year, $45 million offer sheet while raging at a club called The Attic in Orlando. While there weren’t any rolled up bills in the bathroom (that we know of) reports have said Cuban and Parsons went hard, not leaving until early the next morning.
In the building when @ChandlerParsons signed his contract tonight with @mcuban in #orlando pic.twitter.com/9bpjSgF4HG
— NBAblogs.net (@nbablogsnet) July 10, 2014
But is that really a surprise? We all know that Cuban loves to party. After the Mavs beat the Heat in South Beach, The Cubes dropped more than 100 grand on bottle service for Dirk and the boys. I’m pretty sure San Antonio’s owner, Peter Holt, gave Tim Duncan a manly handshake and a pat on the rear after the Spurs completed the same task just last month.
Some may hate the way Cuban goes about his business. He’s loud. He wears T-shirts to games. There’s no Pat Riley power slick-back. But he’s never operated like a traditional owner in that regard. A night out partying to house music and drinking excessive amounts of grain alcohol while offering ludicrous amounts of money to the third best player on a team who didn’t even get to the conference semis is just how he operates. I don’t know what it is, Cubes. It may be because you’re a fellow Hoosier or it may be because you are on the only reality show I actually watch. But whatever the reason…I like your style.
And good for you, Chandler Parsons. I don’t know about you, but I’ve never been wooed as awesomely for a job like this. $45 MILLION?! You go, Chandler Parsons! Want to know what my last contract looked like? When I started at TFM, I got a solid nut tap from The Boulevard, a Rowdy Gentleman koozie, and a letter that said “don’t fuck up” with a smiley face etched in blood.
I never found out whose blood that was, and frankly, I’m a little too afraid to ask. Has anyone seen the DeVry Guy lately?
You guys…?
[via Busted Coverage]
Images via Twitter
Chandler deserved to get paid but as a diehard Rockets fan it hurts to see him go. Especially to a team as despicable as the Dallas Mavericks.
10 years ago at 2:28 pmMark Cuban. FaF
10 years ago at 2:34 pmFuck Mark Cuban.
10 years ago at 2:35 pmCouldn’t have said it better myself Bolen.
10 years ago at 2:35 pmWhat are you two so butthurt about? Cubes is FaF whether you like it or not.
10 years ago at 2:46 pmFuck the Rockets
10 years ago at 3:32 pmWhat did Mr. Cubes do to you?
10 years ago at 10:03 pmParsons pulling right before signing the contract at :20. #TFM
10 years ago at 2:41 pmHe went to my highschool, graduated a year before me. Every day in math class he would practice his signature instead of doing actual work.
10 years ago at 3:30 pmI like him more now.
10 years ago at 4:06 pmI really hope you’re talking about Parsons and not Cuban
10 years ago at 8:38 pmParsons for sure.
10 years ago at 7:14 amMark Cuban is one of the best owners in all of sports. How often so you actually see an owner on the floor with his team instead of sitting up in his little sky box. Hate on his loud, sometimes obnoxious way of getting things done all you want but the man delivers.
10 years ago at 4:43 pmDo*
10 years ago at 4:48 pmSweet
10 years ago at 11:52 pmLike your mothers pussy
10 years ago at 2:27 amI don’t know who I’d rather go out drinking with, Mark Cuban, or Dan Bilzerian?
10 years ago at 8:37 pm