Check Out The Most Hated College Team In Every State

Dr. Mantis Toboggan11 years ago

The only real way to make it as a successful program in college sports is for people to universally hate a team. I mean, REALLY hate a team. We’re not talking about “oh yeah, screw those guys” levels of hate. I talking “the mascot of the team showed up at your childhood home, slept with your mom while your dad was at work, and then when he came home and caught them in bed together, the mascot kicked your dad in the nuts and ran off” levels. Pure, white-hot hatred that burns with the intensity of a thousand suns.

And if you’re hated by more than one state, congratulations–you’ve made it to a national level, whether that’s from winning like crazy, pure dickery, human sacrifice to the underworld (University of Alabama Crimson Tide only), or some combination of the three.

Presented for your review, here are the most hated college football programs in each state, according to a Reddit College Football poll:

Alabama – University of Alabama Crimson Tide
Alaska – Auburn University Tigers
Arizona – Arizona State University Sun Devils
Arkansas – Louisiana State University Tigers
California – University of Southern California Trojans
Colorado – Florida State University Seminoles
Connecticut – Syracuse Orange
Delaware – Nobody from Delaware bothered to respond
Florida – Florida State University Seminoles
Georgia – University of Georgia Bulldogs
Hawaii – Fresno State Bulldogs
Idaho – University of Nevada Wolf Pack
Illinois – THE Ohio State University Buckeyes
Indiana – Notre Dame Fighting Irish
Iowa – University of Iowa Hawkeyes
Kansas – University of Kansas Jayhawks
Kentucky – University of Kentucky Wildcats
Louisiana – University of Alabama Crimson Tide
Maine – Brigham Young University Cougars
Maryland – University of Alabama Crimson Tie
Massachusetts – University of Texas Longhorns
Michigan – University of Michigan Wolverines
Minnesota – University of Wisconsin Badgers
Mississippi – University of Mississippi Ole Miss Rebels
Missouri – University of Kansas Jayhawks
Montana – Notre Dame Fighting Irish
Nebraska – University of Texas Longhorns
Nevada – University of Alabama Crimson Tide
New Hampshire – University of Florida Gators
New Jersey – Penn State University Nittany Lions
New Mexico – University of Arizona Wildcats
New York – Notre Dame Fighting Irish
North Carolina – University of North Carolina Tar Heels
North Dakota – University of North Dakota
Ohio – University of Michigan Wolverines
Oklahoma – University of Texas Longhorns
Oregon – University of Washington Huskies
Pennsylvania – University of Pittsburgh Panthers
Rhode Island – Nobody from Rhode Island bothered to answer
South Carolina – University of South Carolina Gamecocks
South Dakota – North Dakota State University Bison
Tennessee – University of Alabama Crimson Tide
Texas – University of Texas Longhorns
Utah – Brigham Young University Cougars
Vermont – SUNY University at Albany Great Danes
Virginia – University of Virginia Cavaliers
Washington – University of Oregon Ducks
West Virginia – THE Ohio State University Buckeyes
Wisconsin – THE Ohio State University Buckeyes
Wyoming – South Dakota State University Rams

So, what can we learn from this? Bear in mind, this is a pretty subjective poll. According to the Reddit page, only one person from Alaska responded, and he REALLY fucking hates Auburn.

Other than that, we can take away that people really hate Notre Dame, UT, FSU, Michigan, and THE Ohio State University. P.S.: I don’t care how much you emphasize the “the,” it’s still douchey. Nobody’s confusing you with anyone, mainly because three entire states in the union hate you. But the clear winner here is the University of Alabama, with five, count ’em, five states saying that they hate the Tide’s stinking guts, INCLUDING Alabama.

No confirmation on the rumor that Nick Saban himself went to visit each voter who said he or she hated Alabama and reposed those people’s souls to satanic torture, but that’s what they’re saying.

What do you think? Agree, disagree, don’t give a shit? Let me know..

[via Reddit]