Check Out This Female Secret Service Agent Guarding President Obama

From Daily Mail:

A woman was in the ranks of the elite squad of Secret Service agents guarding President Obama’s vehicle this afternoon in the motorcade that passed down Pennsylvania Avenue.

Well talk about shattering the “glass ceiling,” right ladies? For decades, the secret service has been regarded as the best of the best of elite security squads. The service consisted of men that were willing to take a bullet to the face for the sake of our nation’s President, men that could map out an entire city and pinpoint liability areas before our highly elected officials ever stepped foot in it, and men that were brave enough to refuse to pay a Colombian hooker in the middle of a hotel lobby. Unwavering, manly bravery indeed.

Well not anymore! What is this? Victoria’s Secret Service? (Note to self: call Victoria’s Secret headquarters with a new clothing line idea.) This lady, who for obvious reasons remained unnamed, threw all those old Secret Service stereotypes right out the window. Granted her throwing motion needed some work and her mechanics don’t yield accuracy or velocity but still, out the damn window it went. And don’t get me wrong, I’m all for it. I’ll bet you my salary that she could kick my ass all the way down Pennsylvania Avenue with one hand behind her back, and leave me with the weirdest boner ever. She’s a certified ass-kicking, ponytail-wearing, period-having Secret Service agent.

The unknown woman flanked the first agent on the driver’s side of the car with her jacket open, despite the chill in Washington today, to reveal a white button-down shirt below. She, unlike the first lady, wore flats for the day’s events.

Oh, come on. Here I am trying to stamp out stereotypes and this article goes into what she’s wearing? I suppose everyone wants to know what shade of nail polish she chose to match her new bedazzled pistol grip as well, huh? Probably put crafting and baking under “skills” on her résumé, don’t you think? The truth is, whatever a man in the Secret Service did to be tapped for the job, she probably had to do twice over to prove herself. That’s just the way it is. Cue the “she definitely got tapped for this job” jokes from Champ Kind and Brian Fantana.

Jokes aside, what I’m saying is she is probably more than qualified to protect our nation’s President, even if people are writing about what kind of pant suit she had on during the inauguration. It was a killer pant suit, though.

But don’t kid yourselves — this is an historic moment. A female guarding the POTUS during inauguration? Groundbreaking stuff. Breaking down the social stigma surrounding women in power positions. I would just hate to be the guy that tries to take out the political head that she is protecting while she is PMS-ing. You would probably get your ass kicked AND lectured on what pissed her off that week. You’d be nursing your black eye all while feeling bad that you didn’t take out the trash you didn’t even know you were responsible for. Female Secret Service agents for the win.

[via Daily Mail]

Image via Daily Mail


  1. duckdog

    I heard she was the one that refused to pay that got everyone else in trouble.

    7 years ago at 1:52 pm
  2. Drunk

    She wouldn’t have the balls to take a bullet for the president, and I wouldn’t want her to either

    7 years ago at 1:54 pm
  3. SouthernGent1856

    Motion for all the new TSM writers to post pictures before submitting anything.

    7 years ago at 1:55 pm