Chico State Alpha Gamma Rho Brother Accidentally Shoots Himself Inside Fraternity House


Or, as the liberal media would probably prefer me to have titled this piece, “AGR Fraternity Member Opens Fire At Fraternity House.”

From The Orion/Chico Police Department:

Call Type: Negligent Discharge of Firearm 9:17 p.m., Alpha Gamma Rho Fraternity

Patient in the ER who accidentally shot himself in the hand. Patient stated he was cleaning his gun and it went off.

Now, I’m not a big gun guy. I’ve never shot anything more potent than a load in my entire life, and, with my borderline sterility, that’s not saying much at all. Correct me if I’m wrong, though, but I feel like you’re supposed to take the bullets out of the gun before you clean it? You know, rid it of all its harmful powers before you molest it while carelessly pointing it at different parts of your body? Make it not a gun anymore, but rather a glorified paperweight? Hell, who am I to say all that — I’ve never handled one. I probably don’t know what I’m talking about.

Words of encouragement to the victim: Jason-Pierre Paul blew his hand off, and he’s still somehow better than us regular-hands folks at football. There’s your new role model.

Crazy thing is, this wasn’t even the most bizarre thing to go down at Chico State between 9:17 p.m. and 10:02 p.m. last night.

Call Type: Drunk In Public 10:01 a.m., Humboldt Avenue
Female walking down the street with a bottle of wine and her pants down, She is walking back and forth along Humboldt Avenue.

Call Type: Drunk In Public 10:02 p.m., Oak Dale Street
Subject has been sitting near the corner taking his pants off.

Chico State turns up on Sundays, apparently.

[via The Orion]

Image via Facebook

  1. maroonandgold

    Probably forgot to take the bullet out of the chamber. Fucking amateur.

    8 years ago at 2:35 pm
    1. Abu the Monkey

      I giss he wanted to be ready incase a intruder broke in at that moment.

      8 years ago at 3:13 pm
    1. FL_SouthernFrat

      I hope you didn’t type that with a full stomach you ungrateful little bitch.

      8 years ago at 3:39 pm
    2. Fratasaurus

      Tell us about all the food you grow for yourself in your suburban apartment

      8 years ago at 4:15 pm
      1. FL_SouthernFrat

        You’re so far off base it’s sad. People like me and those I work with are the reason you and Boris can sit behind your keyboards and talk shit all day without worrying where your next meal is coming from. Fuck you.

        8 years ago at 4:21 pm
  2. Peter Griffin

    It happens when we get complacent. I know a guy who was in his 60s, former special forces, and shot all the time that shot himself in the foot because he thought it was unloaded. Take this as a reminder to check your gun more than once and always be careful. Luckily it was just a hand and I wish him a speedy recovery.

    8 years ago at 3:34 pm
    1. TossMeABronson

      I shoot a lot of IDPA and USPSA matches, and I have seen 2 accidents. Both by police officers, one having just returned from Iraq. Simply complacency, fortunately no one was hurt.

      8 years ago at 6:28 pm
  3. JohnnieWalker_Blue

    Chico State on Cesar Chavez Day is the Mecca of debauchery. The things I wish I could unsee

    8 years ago at 3:55 pm
  4. The Hacksaw

    And to think I was blacked out at this house asking for girls to marry me a mere 17 hours before this happened….

    8 years ago at 4:03 pm
  5. Dheineken

    Only geeds and tweakers go to Humboldt ave. Thats in the boonies for Chico State.

    8 years ago at 4:08 pm
      1. The Hacksaw

        It’s called satire, pal. You know, the thing this whole site is based on?

        8 years ago at 6:37 pm