Cool Mom Buys Daughter And Friends Lots Of Cocaine For Her 18th Birthday
When trying to be the cool parent yields you distributing 12 baggies of cocaine to your daughter for her 18th birthday, a subsequent arrest and public shame, you know you’ve hit the apex of your cool parenting phase.
From Daily Mail:
A mother who bought £300 worth of cocaine as a birthday present for her daughter’s 18th has been spared jail.
Nicola Austen booked a limousine and bought 12 bags of the class A drug to ‘make sure she had a good time’.
The 37-year-old – who is also a grandmother – admitted that she was planning to take the cocaine with her college student daughter on a night of wild celebrations in London.
Make sure that when you tell your friends about this story, you tell them this lady bought her 18-year-old daughter “300 pounds worth” of coke, but don’t clarify by telling them it was British Pounds, as in the currency. They’ll be left thinking the coolest mom on earth emptied out her daughter’s college savings fund to buy enough Bolivian marching powder to wipe out an entire middle school during the best recess ever. It makes for a better story, and you don’t even have to lie.
£300 is about 460 USD, which buys you just over 5.5 grams in the UK. I’m a drug-free American so I don’t know if that’s a lot of cocaine, but a friend of mine bought $40 worth on Bourbon Street two weekends ago that turned out to be baking soda, and it looked like a decent amount?
Austen avoided jail time and will serve a nine-month suspension and 250 hours of “unpaid work” instead. She was also super annoyed about the whole ordeal.
But last night, speaking from her £300,000 terraced house, Austen showed little remorse.‘It’s all been blown out of proportion,’ she said. ‘I’ve had enough. It isn’t exactly the scoop of the century, is it? It was a party.’
Cool mom-grandma keeping it one hundred..
[via Daily Mail]
Image via Shutterstock
37-18=19, so buying her daughter cocaine was likely not this lady’s first irresponsible decision
10 years ago at 10:14 pmshe’s also a grandmother
10 years ago at 10:14 pmFor those who don’t know how to read, thanks dorn
10 years ago at 10:16 pmyou never know with this crowd
10 years ago at 10:20 pmAnd what the fuck is wrong with us, Dorn?
10 years ago at 10:37 pmCalm down, Girth.
10 years ago at 10:43 pmHow about that job tho?
10 years ago at 12:14 amHow much time you got
10 years ago at 11:11 pmDorm is just interested in the grandkids
10 years ago at 11:31 pmReal original for fucks sake.
10 years ago at 11:38 pmYou’ll probably tell us that the “friend” who bought the baking soda was Steve Holt.
10 years ago at 10:17 pmSteve Holt’s mom did cocaine while pregnant with him.
10 years ago at 10:30 pmIt’s the only way to explain it.
10 years ago at 10:30 pmYeah that’s the joke.
10 years ago at 11:45 pmThis is one of those families that probably just needs to die off.
10 years ago at 10:18 pmI think Cool mom – grandmother was keeping it 300…
10 years ago at 10:24 pmIs this the same mom that fucked her daughter’s boyfriend?
10 years ago at 10:28 pmThat was pornhub..
10 years ago at 6:43 amNot surprised to see that even when “writing” a story that couldn’t have less to do with prepubescent boys your mind impulsively goes to middle school recess.
10 years ago at 10:34 pmYou know you’re doing something right when in order to have a good 18th birthday your daughter needs to have £300 of cocaine
10 years ago at 10:34 pmIt’s CharDee MAC Dennis you piece of shit
10 years ago at 8:56 amMaybe try less, mom.
10 years ago at 10:51 pmI love cocaine. It really gets me going.
10 years ago at 10:59 pmNot having to lie to make the story seem too good to be true. TFM.
10 years ago at 11:00 pm