Cool Mom Buys Daughter And Friends Lots Of Cocaine For Her 18th Birthday
When trying to be the cool parent yields you distributing 12 baggies of cocaine to your daughter for her 18th birthday, a subsequent arrest and public shame, you know you’ve hit the apex of your cool parenting phase.
From Daily Mail:
A mother who bought £300 worth of cocaine as a birthday present for her daughter’s 18th has been spared jail.
Nicola Austen booked a limousine and bought 12 bags of the class A drug to ‘make sure she had a good time’.
The 37-year-old – who is also a grandmother – admitted that she was planning to take the cocaine with her college student daughter on a night of wild celebrations in London.
Make sure that when you tell your friends about this story, you tell them this lady bought her 18-year-old daughter “300 pounds worth” of coke, but don’t clarify by telling them it was British Pounds, as in the currency. They’ll be left thinking the coolest mom on earth emptied out her daughter’s college savings fund to buy enough Bolivian marching powder to wipe out an entire middle school during the best recess ever. It makes for a better story, and you don’t even have to lie.
£300 is about 460 USD, which buys you just over 5.5 grams in the UK. I’m a drug-free American so I don’t know if that’s a lot of cocaine, but a friend of mine bought $40 worth on Bourbon Street two weekends ago that turned out to be baking soda, and it looked like a decent amount?
Austen avoided jail time and will serve a nine-month suspension and 250 hours of “unpaid work” instead. She was also super annoyed about the whole ordeal.
But last night, speaking from her £300,000 terraced house, Austen showed little remorse.‘It’s all been blown out of proportion,’ she said. ‘I’ve had enough. It isn’t exactly the scoop of the century, is it? It was a party.’
Cool mom-grandma keeping it one hundred..
[via Daily Mail]
Image via Shutterstock
Posting back-to-back late articles after I called you out for looking like “Steve” … interesting
10 years ago at 11:49 pmAs overplayed as the Dorno pedophilia thing is, I had to re read that whole “wiping out an entire middle school during the best recess ever” thing twice. The fuck you doing up so late writing shit like this Dorn?
10 years ago at 1:59 amCocaine is bad for you
10 years ago at 2:26 amSays who?
10 years ago at 4:38 amIs that what your mom told ya
10 years ago at 6:19 amDorn stop pretending you know nothing about cocaine. What else fuels your late night motel slumber parties? Passion?
10 years ago at 6:52 amBlow. TFM.
10 years ago at 7:27 amLegalize Cocaine!
10 years ago at 7:28 amAn 18 year old mother with a mother a mother who was 17 when she had her and buys her coke being in college is why the value of a bachelor’s degree has been deluted to jack shit even though the cost of one has gone up 10 fold when compared to inflation.
10 years ago at 7:47 amEver heard of a comma?
10 years ago at 9:59 amHe didn’t get his “deluted” to jack-shit bachelors degree, so probably not.
10 years ago at 11:10 pmThis is some quality house mother material right here.
10 years ago at 9:53 amChill as fuck
10 years ago at 12:57 pm