Someone’s Murking Coyotes And Leaving The Carcasses All Over University Of Idaho Greek Row

coyote

For the second time this year, fraternity and sorority members at the University of Idaho woke up to the strange sight of multiple coyote carcasses laying on the doorsteps of their Greek homes. A man was originally caught placing the dead animal on Delta Zeta’s stoop back in late January, and this past Friday more coyote bodies appeared on the porches of the Pi Kapp, Alpha Phi, and Pi Phi houses.

From KTVB:

On Jan. 20, a man left a dead animal on the porch of a sorority and was caught on camera. He admitted to police he had done it on a dare.

In that case, the suspect did not face charges because the sorority did not want to press them, said Capt. Tyson Berrett of Moscow PD. In that case, the sorority just wanted the suspect to clean up the mess.

In last week’s incident, police said they do not have any suspects, though the man from the first incident is being questioned. Berrett said the second incident did not appear to have the same M.O.

In the second incident, it appeared someone threw the carcasses from a car from the alleyway behind the houses, Berrett said. In the first incident, the suspect had taken the time to “place it nicely” at the door.

I have a few theories that could all honestly be the answer to this great coyote murder mystery. First off, let’s just clear homeboy from the DZ incident of the new coyote killings. Serial coyote killers are very methodical. They typically stick to a rigid routine and hate diverting from their disgusting fantasies. He wouldn’t carefully position one dead coyote out front of DZ and then throw the next few out from a car window. That’s just not how serial coyote killers operate. He’d get no joy out of that.

What we have here is one of three things: a copycat killer, a satanic cult, or an early push to lockdown homecoming partners for the 2017 fall.

Sure, a Copycat killer seems the most plausible of the three, but this is Idaho we’re talking about. Go to any farm in that state after dark and I can almost guarantee you’d see a group of people dressed in rubber waders and bear skin covered in blood sacrificing small animals and children to false idols carved from potatoes asking for a good summer harvest. Perhaps leaving dead coyotes all over Greek row is part of the ritual or just some sick message they’re trying to send. I really can’t be certain, but these poor little coyots are getting smoked left and right and that seems kind of fucked up.

Of course, this could just be fraternities getting a jump on the competition and trying to woo sororities or Pi Kapp (It’s 2017 after all) for homecoming. I don’t think I’ve so much as flown over Idaho or met a single person from the “Gem State,” but I just get the vibe that women from that part of the country really appreciate guys that can hunt and provide. It’s like they say, if you can make an Idaho girl gasp by leaving a dead coyote on her doorstep you can make her do anything.

[via KTVB]

Image via Youtube

  1. CrossbowsAreForPussies

    imagining some A phi walking out of her house to go to an 8 AM and stepping on a dead, bloody predator is actually hilarious

    7 years ago at 1:24 pm
      1. dingos_lil_5

        Fucking wolves is not losing your virginity. How have have you not been blackballed yet?

        7 years ago at 3:27 am
  2. 1_Rugey_Jentelman

    Of all the things to do in Idaho, how’d a second person find the time to do this?

    7 years ago at 1:46 pm
  3. Larry_Sellers

    This title reads more like something Dorn would write. Was genuinely surprised when I saw Dan’s name.

    7 years ago at 2:00 pm
  4. Blutarsky69

    I’m telling you, you have to be careful with these hicks that come into college towns for a night of fun. You make a joke at one or say something bad about their truck and they remember. They give you this look that goes right into your soul and implies “You gone pay for that one boy.” Next thing you know you seen them drive by your house on your way to class in the morning, they slow down, give you a look, then speed off. You piss yourself a little and think, “my god how’d they figure out where I live?” Then they kill coyotes and put them on your lawn.

    7 years ago at 2:43 pm