Deranged Clemson Fan Vows To Shit On Saban’s Face

Harrison Lee10 years ago

Football games can bring out the worst (best?) in men. When things are going well, you’re the greatest trash talker within a 50-mile radius. When things are not going well, you’re susceptible to a rage so great that people are legitimately worried about their safety, your safety, and whether you’re going to light the whole damn place on fire.

Take for example this Clemson fan who was on a goddamn rollercoaster of emotions during last week’s championship game.

Damn, I thought this guy was about to jump out of my freaking computer screen and kick Steve Holt right in the dick he was so amped. How much coke did this guy do pregame? I feel like that’s the only way someone can get that crazy despite being labeled as a “laid back and reserved guy.”

Let’s replay the part where he says he’s going to shit on Saban’s face:

Now, I’m not one who is extremely knowledgeable in how to deal with the devil, but I just feel like the best way is not to shit on their face. A more reasonable action would be to take him out for a beverage, tell him that you’d like to take his daughter out for a nice chicken dinner, maybe some sex, and have her home by 10 p.m. sharp. You’re still shitting where he eats, but you’re being more polite about it..