Distinguished Pro Golfer Tiger Woods Says He Peaked At 11 Years Old, Is Glad His Name Isn’t Dick

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14-time golf major championship winner and celebrity multi-millionaire Tiger Woods had a come-to-Jesus moment in a recent interview with Time, where he admitted that, while all of his life achievements are great, he peaked when he was 11.

He opened up in a surprisingly candid interview where he talked about everything from golf, to his relationships, to how he hates wearing a sports coat at restaurants. But the best part of the whole thing is how he talks about how solid life was back in sixth grade.

From Time:

Did you begin to see this after you turned pro, or earlier?

I didn’t play for any attention. I played for the hardware. I wanted to know that I beat everyone in this field, and I wanted them to know that they got their butt kicked. That to me was the absolute pure pleasure of competing. But then, I got noticed for that. But when I first started playing, I was a little kid, say, in the nine and unders, and 11 and under, there was nobody there, but I still want to kick your butt. That never changed. Then people started to take notice of those wins. But I had been doing it since I was very little. By the time I was 11 years old, I had already won 113 tournaments. I peaked at 11, to be honest with you. I went 36 and 0 that year, never lost a tournament, all in California. And I probably had the cutest girlfriend in all of sixth grade. And I had straight As. No A-minuses. They were all perfect A’s. I peaked at “. I’ve been trying to get back to that since.

Do you ever wish your name weren’t Tiger?

Put it this way. I’m glad my dad didn’t name me Richard. That would be a long day. Tiger is O.K., but Richard would have been tough.

Like Tiger, I also peaked in middle school. Life was great back then. I had a hot-ass sixth grade girlfriend who said she couldn’t wait to make out with me at the park behind our neighborhood baseball fields (we never did, but the thought of it was just ORGASMIC), I was killing the game in travel baseball and peewee football, and my bedtime was pushed back to midnight because I was responsible enough to put myself to sleep. Hell yeah, I was.

God, to be 11 again. Take me back to 1978, please!

I also love the shot at people named Richard. Everybody I’ve ever met named Richard or Rich or Dick is a shady fuck, so I absolutely understand where he is coming from in that regard.

Tiger will always be one of my favorite golfers, even with this new storm of young talent. Nothing like watching CBS cut away quickly from Tiger after he calls himself a “fucking idiot” on live TV. People say there are no thrills watching a golf tournament on TV, and I say they’re wrong.

If you have any interest in Tiger or golf in general, you should read the rest of that interview. Pretty good stuff. Check it out HERE.

[via Time]

Image via YouTube

      1. cleavage

        It peaked when they introduced the forums and Dorn and Bacon wrote most of the content.

        10 years ago at 7:16 pm
  1. R4PEandPILL4GE

    steve holts peak was during his mothers second trimester. surviving two abortions is quite an accomplishment.

    10 years ago at 4:44 pm
    1. keg__atron69

      Real original comment. If you scroll to the bottom you’ll the one I commented first

      10 years ago at 5:50 pm
      1. Coastal_McFrattington

        “Scroll to the bottom”. You are the most consistent shitty commentator I’ve seen since polo_mane.

        10 years ago at 5:52 pm
      2. sdh266

        Fuck this kid i knew his alternate account was Polo_Mane before anyone else realized it

        10 years ago at 10:10 pm
      3. Lightning McPeen

        “You’ll the one I commented first” Whatever you’re on, I hope it’s very addictive and kills you quickly.

        10 years ago at 6:23 pm
      4. IntoFratAir

        It wasn’t even the same comment. Nor was it as funny as this one. You’re trash

        10 years ago at 10:10 pm
  2. Lord of the Fratio

    So Steve is claiming to be 48 years old- I’d expect that a reasonable age for most writers on this site is around 24. Sounds like a hint that Steve is two writers. Ahhhh conspiracies how I love you

    10 years ago at 4:58 pm
  3. papabear12

    Holt admitting he is old as fuck is about as Anti-Frat as it gets. Kindly piss on an electric fence, you ancient cock-munch.

    10 years ago at 7:44 pm