Top 10 Frattest MLB Players
7. Lenny Dykstra
It’s difficult to find a photo of Lenny Dykstra that fits both these requirements simultaneously: he’s in a baseball uniform, and he doesn’t have a man-sized plug in his mouth. The legend goes that he made the lives of MLB teams’ ground crews hell with his absurd tobacco usage. He took such enormous hogs and created so much saliva that he ruined the turf in center fields all over America. That shit ate through astro turf like a motherfucker. Dykstra also had an unhealthy gambling addiction. Taking multi-hundred thousand dollar hits was a pastime of his. After his gambling appetite was satisfied, he tried his hand at insider trading and did quite well. His propensity to find trouble eventually caught up with him, though. He’s currently in prison for providing false financial documents and grand theft auto. Dykstra also won a World Series ring as a rookie as a member of the Scum Bunch. (Read on)
Not bad Dorn.
13 years ago at 11:37 amMickey Mantle being 10 is a disgrace. All the top guys, but out of order.
13 years ago at 1:48 pmGood job, Dorn. I like baseball.
13 years ago at 3:46 pmComing from you, I’ll take it.
13 years ago at 4:05 pmBilly-fucking-Martin
13 years ago at 4:53 pmChipper Fuckkin’ Jones. Always and forever will be the biggest “fuck you” dousche bag. A true American hero.
13 years ago at 11:40 amhttp://www.lettersofnote.com/2011/02/mickey-mantles-outstanding-experience.html
13 years ago at 10:50 amSolid column. Now here comes the laundry list of ball players that “should of been on the list”… And where is Fail Friday? Pete Rose by the way.
13 years ago at 11:43 amPete Rose for sure belongs on here.
13 years ago at 11:44 amjohn rocker
13 years ago at 11:48 amReggie Jackson. He was going to have a hot dog with Coop.
13 years ago at 4:31 pmJustin De Fratus
http://espn.go.com/mlb/player/_/id/30976/justin-de-fratus
13 years ago at 5:10 pmKeith Hernandez. “I’m Keith Hernandez!”
13 years ago at 6:00 pmBob Feller. 3 no hitters, 279 complete games, and 4 years of duty on the USS Alabama during WWII.
13 years ago at 8:10 pm^also the only player ever to throw an opening day no-hitter. Go fucking Tribe.
13 years ago at 1:18 amRoll Tribe
13 years ago at 2:48 pmWhere the fuck is Ty Cobb or John Rocker?
13 years ago at 11:49 amCobb, yes. Rocker, eh.
13 years ago at 12:01 pmRocker yes, and DAB where the fucks your twitter?
13 years ago at 12:09 pmI got bored with that sumbitch
13 years ago at 12:25 pmJohn Rocker would torch this list.
13 years ago at 12:33 pmRocker married a black…
13 years ago at 3:36 pmI thought of Ty Cobb too
13 years ago at 7:42 pm^^ Rocker did in fact marry a black chick. Which is pretty fucking hysterical.
13 years ago at 11:59 amChipper fuckin Jones. Good column Dorn.
13 years ago at 11:51 amNot to mention the illegitimate child was with a Hooters waitress. Chipper Jones is an American hero.
13 years ago at 1:19 pmSolid column dorn
13 years ago at 11:55 amAgreed. This has inspired me to join a beer league back home this summer
13 years ago at 2:42 pmGreat column Dorn. I agree with you and DAB on adding Tyrus Raymond and Charlie Hustle. Keep up the solid work.
13 years ago at 12:04 pm1. Pat the bat burrell.
13 years ago at 12:07 pmCouldnt agree more, Pat the bat Burrell should definitely be on this list
13 years ago at 12:31 pmBurrell wears really tight pants…
13 years ago at 12:52 pmLance Berkman?
13 years ago at 12:08 pmJosh Beckett?
13 years ago at 11:11 amLenny Dykstra should be #1:
13 years ago at 12:21 pm– Accused of sexual assult by his housekeeper last years, supposedly made her blow him only on Saturdays.
– Doing 3 years for GTA (25 misdemenor and felony counts on arrest.
– Owned a jet charter company for a while.
– Had the nickname “Nails”.
The only thing “frat” about this is the jet charter company.
13 years ago at 8:11 pmRape is cool, if you’re a Pike.
GTA is cool if you’re black, or retarded.
Nails? Seriously? What about “Nails” screams FRAT to you?
Chipper Jones. Fantastic choice. I’d probably add Rocker to the list. He has never given one fuck in his entire life. Except for the famous sprint to the mound and racking people up with 102 mph steroid-fueled fastballs.
13 years ago at 12:25 pm