Drake Vs. Brown

Uncle Willy12 years ago

Following a supposed brawl in Manhattan’s W.i.P. nightclub earlier this month between Chris Brown and Drake, billionaire bottling heir Alki David has offered them one million dollars each to slug it out in the boxing ring.

I can only imagine this bar fight looked like a super-urban 21st century rendition of West Side Story, but I think I might still tune in to see these two falsettos duke it out on the canvas. I would be interested to see who would win a fight between Breezy and Drizzy, if nothing else I’m pretty certain it would be a good laugh. Visualize Drake throwing a right hook, Breezy dodging by grabbing his nuts in a Micheal Jackson spin and catching Drake with a left jab in the ear.

I have no clue who would win this match up. I don’t know anything about rapper Drake’s athletic ability or fighting skills, all I know is he played handicap Jimmy on Degrasi. And yes, Chris Brown keeps the pimp hand strong, but my 12 year old little brother could beat up Rihanna, so no props given there. Sometimes I feel like America is heading in the wrong direction, stars and celebrities are paraded around like Gods and worshiped by the public for their sins. But then things like this happen, guaranteeing to make a fool out of the winner and the loser in this desperate cry for attention disguised as a boxing match, and these egomaniac losers get a swift kick in the nuts from karma. I love this country.

• [via Rolling Stone]