Elementary School Accidentally Sends Hilarious “Hurt Feelings Report” To Parents
9 years ago

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Lombardy Elementary School staff members have issued apologies after an email was sent out to parents with the wrong attachment. When preparing an email about upcoming events and school news, a staff member mistakenly attached a satirical document that caught parents off guard upon receiving it. The brilliant document that was sent out is a “Hurt Feelings Report” with the principal purpose “to assist whiners in documenting hurt feelings.”

Check out the document in full at NBC 10 New York or simply google “Hurt Feelings Report” and find a couple different versions.

Some highlights in the form include: “Name Of Person Who Hurt Your Pansy Ass Feelings” and “Did You Require A Tissue For Tears?” under the injury section of the report. The various reasons for filing the report include: “I am a wimp,” “I am a crybaby,” or “I want my mommy.” My favorite comes from the U.S. Military versions I’ve seen floating around the web, which seems to be the origin of the satirical document. Under the authorization section, it requires the name and signature of a “Real Man/Woman” along with the whiner in question.

Every college in America should stock these forms in bulk and, once filled out, should file them appropriately, in the trash can.

The possibilities are endless in how whiners of the world can finally learn to suck it up.

Image via Shutterstock

  3. StoryTeller

    I like it. Schools are ridiculous nowadays. My mother was telling me all the “bad behavior kids” at her school get a pizza party once a month. For what you may ask? For simply behaving and not getting in trouble. Do the kids that behave every day get anything? Nope. But if you are terrible and then can hold it together for a few days, you get a badass pizza party.

    GOD DAMNIT OBAMA

    9 years ago at 9:35 am
    1. Joff the L-E-G-A-C-Y

      Blaming things on Obama that he doesn’t actually have control over. TFM

      9 years ago at 10:02 am
    2. The ATF Store

      Sounds like your mother is still in junior high; no wonder your stories suck, you prepubesent ankle biter.

      9 years ago at 10:13 am
      1. The ATF Store

        And no, I’m not going to acknowledge the possibility of her being a teacher.

        9 years ago at 10:16 am
  4. Dizzy_Bat

    Sounds like this school needs to bring in PC principal to seriously check some privileges.

    9 years ago at 9:40 am
  5. UnKappaFifth

    This is bullshit. Middle or high school is one thing but shit talking about someone’s 6 or 7 year old? Yeah, there’s gonna be some issues

    9 years ago at 11:21 am
      1. FrayettevilleLegend

        If you’re that upset by it then just print off one of the forms, fill it out, and shove it up your pansy ass.

        9 years ago at 7:21 pm
  7. Call sign_Goose

    Its tragically hysterical that this is more applicable to adults in America now rather than our fucking children.

    9 years ago at 11:43 am
  8. UnKappaFifth

    Sorry NSS but you missed on this one. While teaching our youth to not be self entitled brats who think nothing is their fault is important, all this article shows is a bunch of adults who resort to shit talking about these kids instead of trying to teach them the right way. Fuck this article and fuck you

    9 years ago at 12:01 pm
    1. Not So Sweetheart

      Who’s to say someone didn’t send it to their buddy that works at the school who was recounting how his adult coworkers were complaining about having their feelings hurt at the last staff meeting? There’s no context to how the document got into the hands of an employee, you’re just making assumptions on that one.

      I’d also wager you’ve never worked at length with children under the age of 10. Camp counselor, babysitter, or teacher, everyone has kids they shit talk. Everyone.

      9 years ago at 12:55 pm
  10. Asmit162

    I find this hilarious because I went to this school when I was in elementary school haha

    9 years ago at 2:08 pm