Elementary School Accidentally Sends Hilarious “Hurt Feelings Report” To Parents

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Lombardy Elementary School staff members have issued apologies after an email was sent out to parents with the wrong attachment. When preparing an email about upcoming events and school news, a staff member mistakenly attached a satirical document that caught parents off guard upon receiving it. The brilliant document that was sent out is a “Hurt Feelings Report” with the principal purpose “to assist whiners in documenting hurt feelings.”

Check out the document in full at NBC 10 New York or simply google “Hurt Feelings Report” and find a couple different versions.

Some highlights in the form include: “Name Of Person Who Hurt Your Pansy Ass Feelings” and “Did You Require A Tissue For Tears?” under the injury section of the report. The various reasons for filing the report include: “I am a wimp,” “I am a crybaby,” or “I want my mommy.” My favorite comes from the U.S. Military versions I’ve seen floating around the web, which seems to be the origin of the satirical document. Under the authorization section, it requires the name and signature of a “Real Man/Woman” along with the whiner in question.

Every college in America should stock these forms in bulk and, once filled out, should file them appropriately, in the trash can.

The possibilities are endless in how whiners of the world can finally learn to suck it up.

Image via Shutterstock

  1. FrattibalLecter

    In all honesty, I was bullied my entire life, all the way until I graduated from high school.
    Do I believe that we should be more sensitive of other people? In some ways, yes, only in that we shouldn’t be going out of our way to hurt others.
    Do I believe in being politically correct? FUCK NO. I’m literally a human trigger warning; I make fun of literally every group on the planet, committing what PC principal would call “verbal crimes against humanity.”
    Adversity makes us stronger. As human beings, we need to use reality to curb our weaknesses, not use our weaknesses to curb reality

    9 years ago at 6:52 am