Everyone’s Favorite GDI Goes On Epic Rant

Alex Jones: “And you’re working out even a couple times a day sometimes.”

Charlie Sheen: “Um, well yeah, but there’s only one time in the gym if you catch my drift. We’re not live are we?”

In case you’ve been living under a rock, Charlie Sheen really, really likes to party. Basically, his persona is Giants’ pitcher Brian Wilson mixed with a shit ton of blow.

“Rhymes with winning. Anyone? Yeah that would be us. Sorry man, didn’t make the rules. Oops.”

Last week, he went all-out apeshit during a radio interview with Alex Jones, ranting like a mad man and shitting all over the producers of his hit TV show, Two and a Half Men, which has subsequently been canceled.

“I am battle tested bayonets, bro. I’m tired, I’m so tired of pretending like my life isn’t perfect and bitchin’ and just winning every second, and I’m not perfect and bitchin’. And just delivering the goods at every frickin’ turn. Because, look what I’m dealing with man, I’m dealing with fools and trolls. Ya know? I’m dealin with soft targets.”

In the interview, he claims he is clean, but if that isn’t an amphetamine fueled rant, then I don’t know what is.

“I don’t have time for these clowns. I don’t have time for their judgment and their stupidity. You know, they lay down with their ugly wives in front of their ugly children and just look at their loser lives and then they look at me and they say ‘I CAN’T PROCESS IT.’ Well no, and you never will, stop trying just sit back and enjoy the show. You know?”

I mean, I guess it’s possible that he’s blowing down Adderall, or bonging coffee. Would that be considered “clean”? He refuses to acknowledge any addiction: “The only thing I’m addicted to now is winning.” Then he takes shots at Alcoholics Anonymous: “I have a disease? Bullshit. I cured it with my brain, with my mind.”

Awesome.

“It might be lonely up here, but I sure like the view, Alex.”

Listen to the full interview:

He dropped these gems during a more recent interview with ABC News:

“I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available because if you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”

“I was banging seven-gram rocks and finishing them, because that’s how I roll…I have one speed. I have one gear. Go.”

“I got tiger blood, man. My brain…fires in a way that is, I don’t know, maybe not from this particular terrestrial realm.”

Also, his brother is Gordon Bombay.

  1. Hazing since 1789

    He is TFTC. Everything about his life in his show was FaF. Rage on Charlie.

    14 years ago at 10:28 pm
  2. rooster cogburn

    charlie falls in that netherworld between not even remotely being considered a fraternity man, but somehow transcending so many geed qualities to be ultimately summed up as FAF. its pretty amazing, really

    14 years ago at 10:42 pm
    1. older row

      second. the guy captures the spirit of being fratty, he just doesn’t dress the part

      14 years ago at 11:37 pm
    1. fuck condoms

      He’s not trying. Some people really need to stop sucking so much god damn dick…

      14 years ago at 10:57 am
    2. SEC frat star

      He’s not trying, that’s the point. This is his lifestyle and he’s TFTC about anything bad that might come from his actions.

      14 years ago at 10:57 am
    3. southcar89

      seriously he is TFTC and has more money than some of these shit talking geeds will ever have

      14 years ago at 11:01 am
  3. frat barkley

    “basically his persona is Giants’ pitcher Brian Wilson mixed with a ton of blow”
    im gonna go out on a limb and say when brian wilson visited him to talk about major league 4, more than acting advice was shared

    14 years ago at 12:41 am
  4. booze haze slam

    being a fuck up, gdi looser is not fratty at all. If you rally think hes cool, you not only have moral issues but fucking life issues. He is the biggest fucking looser next to the guy that actualy thinks being him is cool. Fuck this looser mother fucker! grow up fucking loosers! doing drugs and loosing everything you worked for is not fratty! charlie sheen will be dead in a week if he keeps this up. this isnt something to be proud of! fucking geeds!

    14 years ago at 2:19 pm
    1. Doogie Fratter MD

      Booze haze slam, I’m pretty sure it’s been decided in other posts that you have Down’s Syndrome, which is incredibly NF, and threw your credibility out the window. Charlie Sheen is FaF. You’re a loser. Or maybe a looser.

      14 years ago at 2:26 pm
    2. Mr Rager

      Wow, you really made yourself sound like a ‘looser’ with your impeccable spelling.

      14 years ago at 2:27 pm
    3. ChewBRAHcca

      Yeah Charlie Sheen is really “loose”. What a “looser” who is “loosing” everything. Go back to grade school and learn how to write.

      14 years ago at 2:39 pm
    4. rooster cogburn

      motion to give booze haze slam his own weekly TFM column? preferably accompanied by a video?

      14 years ago at 9:42 pm
    5. booze haze slam

      well i was in a rant! fucking idiots thinking a coke head is FaF, you fucking geeds! Eat shit!

      14 years ago at 10:31 pm
    6. kappa fralpha

      You sound like a pissed of son of a bitch that didn’t get a bid, or a dumb son of a bitch that joined some bullshit Fraternity somewhere up north. You probably Idolize thee cast of Jersey Shore! Yes Charlie made some mistakes, but so did Tiger and your definitely a Geed if you don’t respect Tiger for his work on the course and Charlies attitude to one, be better than everyone else just like we do in the Fraternity world, and secondly to be good at what he does and that is not only throw a damn good party like the rest of us do but also he is a damn good actor and does what he does at a higher level than most.

      14 years ago at 2:31 am
    7. kappa fralpha

      pissed off*…I am sorry my computer is currently not running properly after I spilled a few things on it.

      14 years ago at 2:32 am
    8. rooster cogburn

      Kappa Fralpha, i agree with all your points but acknowledging BHS as anything other than a lovable moron (kind of like that thing from Goonies or chewbacca or something) is simply not worth the effort of intelligent folk.

      14 years ago at 10:29 am
    9. booze haze slam

      hey kappa sucks dick fralpha dont be a dicksucker! I bet money you wouldnt say shit to my face and second its clear your a followerand you have no self worth. we call your kind sheep! so eat a dick you goat fucker!

      14 years ago at 11:25 am
    10. taylorgangbro

      Booze haze slame, you may be the product of imbred sex with the level of retardation that you are on.. But I won’t hate you for it

      14 years ago at 3:31 pm
    11. Frat_Worth_Tx

      you know what’s really gay? Giving a fuck you to someone on this website and then checking again hours later to see what they said back. this Isn’t twitter. look at what people post, scroll down, and have the occasional laugh at something you read. Comments should just be funny add ons or props to the post. fuck.

      14 years ago at 1:17 am
    12. 321South Shoulda Won

      I read all the comments booze haze slam just wrote and the only voice that I could picture saying his words would be “sloth” from the Goonies. “Sloth love Chunk” “Rocky road?” get a life you inbred, pillowbiting geed… And for chuck sheen, he should be idolized for this rant and his raging skills.

      14 years ago at 10:33 am
  5. The Southern Gent

    “I was banging seven-gram rocks and finishing them, because that’s how I roll…I have one speed. I have one gear. Go.” Thats probably my favorite quote I have ever heard.

    14 years ago at 2:26 pm