FAIL FRIDAY THE 13TH
13 years ago

Ten real submissions, five photos and one video, that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

Opened my laptop up in the library and porn started blaring. I let him finish. TFM.
-Mississippi

It’s disrespectful to turn off porn before the money shot. Nobody likes a cock block.

Named my World of Warcraft pet “Frathound.” TFM.
-Arkansas

WoW. FaF.

If I was married to my liver, well she’d know better then tell the cops about the constant batter charges. TFM.
-Texas

Get out of your single-wide, and help yourself to a fucking English book from the public library.

I’m honestly so much smarter and more successful and more competent than any of you fucking GDI douche bag pussy blogging knucklehead pinhead f*****s that I promise I’ll leave all you f*****s on your merry way and delete my account and you’ll never hear my CA nonsense again if this shit somehow gets posted. Swear to myself. TFM.
-California

You failed to specify where this would need to be posted for you to delete your account. It’s been posted. Delete your account.

A sorostitute puked on my dick because I hadn’t showered for days. TFM.
-District of Columbia


Take a shower hippie. Wait…should I have posted this?

Marvin the Martian from Looney Toons roofying Bugs Bunny so he could abduct him and bring him back to the frat castle to give to his frathound as dog toy. TFM.
-Oklahoma

Perfect example of how eating 3 weed brownies, watching cartoons, and trying to submit a TFM can go horribly wrong.

Last night I had a dream I had sex with Ronald Reagan. TFM.
-Ohio

Was he screaming, “Tear down this wall!” and taking you from behind?

I’m a substitute teacher at my old high school. Going to give them a little taste of hazing. TFM.
-North Carolina

Don’t lie, sub. Those kids are hazing you, and you’re making $50 per day.

Gagged myself so my brother wouldn’t have to throw up by himself. TFM.
-Arkansas

Male bulimia isn’t a joking matter.

Snorted a line of Sheen off Osama’s body, while reading Decision Points in my private jet, which has an American flag paintjob, while wearing Sperrys and getting head from my slampiece. TFM.
-Mississippi

Yep. That just happened.


How to put on a tattoo at Derby


no caption needed


Morning wake up calls with the stars and stripes at Sailors Ball


Humiliation & Redemption


Bromance. TFM.

This will probably ruin your weekend. At least finals are done with:

(LSU should mob up and go after these guys now that Benjamin Haas has been dealt with)

  2. 18FiftyFrat

    I think a lot of these “fratstars” could use another dose of pledging. And by pledging I mean getting the shit kicked out of them until they learn to be a proper gentleman.

    13 years ago at 2:06 pm
    2. Steve Pre

      Although I do hate chapters that don’t haze this has to be one that just gave up and let them “do their thing” until their campus kicks them off. At my campus, Kappa Sig and SigEp haven’t been that bad as much as Pike and anything starting with Theta Xi/Chi or SigNu

      13 years ago at 3:37 pm
    4. Reaganism

      you’re just jealous because you’re not a balanced man…
      they’re the best ones to date 🙂

      13 years ago at 7:39 pm
    6. SirFratsonDrake

      Dear Steve Pre,
      I don’t give a goddamn who you are I will not let the name of my fraternity be listed in the same sentence with any fuckin balanced man chapter unchallenged…Kappa Sig frats harder than you or your weak ass chapter.

      Sincerly,
      Your Future Boss

      13 years ago at 8:45 pm
    7. the_skipjack052

      the people most angry about “balanced man” chapters are us in Traditional SPE chapters. srsly, they are an embarrassment to us all. the “sigma phi any guy” saying has a lot of basis to it thanks to balanced man chapters. any rage you guys have toward them is exponentially higher among traditional sigeps

      13 years ago at 9:46 pm
    11. Henry V

      BMP Chapters always get shit on even though pretty much every chapter in the big conferences (Big 10, Big 12, SEC) regardless of balanced man or traditional hazes and does everything pretty standard in the American Fraternity system. Give it a rest, so there are some SPE chapters that are embarrassing, but there probably are just as many embarrassing Fiji, Sigma Chi, SAE, Lambda Chi, Phi Delt, etc. chapters as well. We’re not pike and never will be. VDBL

      13 years ago at 12:57 am
    13. KA122165

      kappa sig is by far the epitome of guys who think they’re raging frat stars who get all the sorostitues, as well as SigEp. Have fun giving bids to the guys no one else wanted and racking up the overweight phi mu’s as your lil sis’s. Even Pike is better. And fyi, it’s a teke in picture 3, this I know for a fact. – “Dieu et les Dames”

      13 years ago at 7:30 am
    15. Federalist

      Henry v fuck you. every fraternity you mentioned including pike hazes hard at a lot of schools. how dare you disrespect brotherhoods that take actually balls to get into. fuck you and fuck sig ep, yall not hazing and thinking your the same as everyother house makes me sick. and no your not pike, even they are better then y’all.

      13 years ago at 11:32 am
    17. LTH_MK246

      Are you a red-blooded male with a body temp somewhere in the upper 90’s? Sigma Phi Everyone is for you…

      13 years ago at 2:24 am
    18. BMBrother

      You can’t generalize SigEp into one category. Every fraternity has their weak chapters but that varies from campus to campus. You might be a bad ass where you’re at but where I’m at you may be bottom tier.

      13 years ago at 3:29 am
    19. The Waltz

      “the_skipjack052 says: the people most angry about “balanced man” chapters are us in Traditional SPE chapters. seriously, they are an embarrassment to us all. the “sigma phi any guy” saying has a lot of basis to it thanks to balanced man chapters. any rage you guys have toward them is exponentially higher among traditional sigeps”

      For the most part, this.

      13 years ago at 12:55 am
    21. traditionalSPE

      Fuck that shit, I don’t care what the SigEps are like where you come from or any other chapter. While there are balanced man chapters, there are also traditional chapters. Where im at we the SigEps are the hardest fraternity on campus and it’s very obivous that Pi Kapp is the bottom tier. Don’t run your mouth when you have no idea what its like to be one of the last traditional chapters in SigEp. TFM

      13 years ago at 10:28 am
    2. GreekGod11

      Marvin the Martian from Looney Toons roofying Bugs Bunny so he could abduct him and bring him back to the frat castle to give to his frathound as dog toy. TPikeMove

      13 years ago at 2:22 pm
    3. JoeDubb1089AX

      I was praying for a Pike hat trick this week. Maybe they just wised up and stop wearing their letters in the pics.

      13 years ago at 3:48 pm
  4. Frat in the Hat

    My God what a piss poor Fail Friday. Fist picture seems like a win in my book though.

    13 years ago at 2:06 pm
  5. FountainCity Fratter

    Not a Fail Friday without Pike….I’m sure those are Pike’s in one of those pictures.

    13 years ago at 2:06 pm
    3. FraterdayRage

      The PKA’s at my school aren’t that bad, they are just so easy to make fun of.

      13 years ago at 12:13 pm
  6. UA Wildfrats

    that California one was definitely that GDI with the username “Frat Grenade”

    13 years ago at 2:07 pm
  7. EdenClubMember

    how dare those 2 losers show an image of a dude in cargo shorts and say he’s a “fraternity boy”

    13 years ago at 2:14 pm
    4. Fratimus Meridius

      You can always tell if the guy is in a terrible fraternity if he doesn’t know the difference between pfgs and cargo shorts

      13 years ago at 8:56 pm
    5. EdenClubMember

      before you continue to verbally haze the shit out of me, in all seriousness i am not making this up, plz inform me: what is the difference between pfgs and cargo shorts and why are they better? i have never seen them before in my entire goddamned life. are they for sailing or fishing?

      13 years ago at 9:28 pm
    9. fratyliteonthefratio

      pfgs really aren’t that expensive. I personally don’t wear them much because I sail much more than I actually fish, but as far as frattire goes pfgs are very affordable. Polo, patagonia, and j crew shorts all cost more. That being said Columbia overall is awesome quality especially at that price.

      13 years ago at 11:30 pm
    11. Manchild

      EdenClubMember:
      PFG shorts are essentially cargos, but they cost more than most department store khakis, are specifically marketed as “fishing shorts” and are a little shorter than those worn by stereotypical geeds. Thus, FaF. Right?

      13 years ago at 1:54 am
    13. Karl Rove

      I don’t see any PFGs or cargos. And I’m posting this while taking a shit with PFGs around my ankles, their green if any of you fratstars were curious.

      13 years ago at 8:21 pm
    14. Fratimus Meridius

      pfg stands for professional fishing gear and columbia typically makes them. They have extra pockets that are usually mesh. i keep my flybox, bait or anything that i need when fishing that would otherwise fuck up my pockets or would get them excessively wet. The main difference between pfgs and cargos are they arent baggy, shorter (i have two older pairs that are 5″ inseam) and they are actually functional. Its like the difference between flip flops and chacos or a hipster fedora and Indiana’s fedora

      13 years ago at 9:32 pm
    15. Bullets and Bulleit

      Unless you happen to be fishing in the middle of campus, then PFGs are just tiny cargo shorts. And, no, they aren’t expensive at all and even if they were that doesn’t make them inherently better. Gucci’s expensive and it’s incredibly guid. Utility only makes it better if it actually applies to the situation. And Chacos are for hippies, unless, again, you happen to be wet-launching a boat in the middle of campus.

      13 years ago at 2:03 pm
    16. John Slambooty

      Bullets, does the same go for boat shoes?And you can’t wear 993s without participating in a 5k I’m assuming.

      13 years ago at 8:24 am
    17. Bullets and Bulleit

      The reason people wear boat shoes is that there isn’t anything else to wear that’s comfortable and still covers your whole foot. I know that I don’t want to wear dress shoes around campus and I don’t have anything else that wouldn’t look retarded with shorts. Loafers work too, but I don’t always want to ruin my shoes. And no, you shouldn’t be wearing running shoes unless you’re doing something athletic. Ever.

      13 years ago at 9:18 am
  9. Fratthew Stafford

    I never thought a song or video could be worse than Friday, but I was wrong. I bet these guys smell like corndogs

    13 years ago at 2:16 pm
    2. brOJ Simpson

      BROpocalpyse Now — the fact that you have seen the 1st one reconfirmed my belief that you are indeed the lamest person that patrols this site.

      13 years ago at 8:46 pm