FAIL SATURDAY: Give Thanks For Camera Phones

Ross Bolen6 years ago

Hello peasants. Thought I would stop in to bring you up to date on my weekend in Vegas. What you peasants no doubt picture as The Ultimate Thanksgiving Weekend but what to me is just a normal four days since I have these adventures every week. I present this as a public service to give you losers material to crank it to as you fantasize about my life. Since I rolled in Wednesday night I have banged 14 slampigs, excluding Fratty Couples’ and sigmanugs311’s moms who I had shipped out just to give me some familiar ass to end the day balls deep in every night. So tonight I’m at the blackjack table where I’m currently $120k in the Black. I’m chatting up the Vietnamese grandmother sitting beside me because she looked like she needed a good dicking and because Diversity. Anyway, this Chi O from UCLA comes lurking around and giving me the eye. Like every other Chi O in Vegas, she’s there looking for a rich husband. Good eye on her part since my family is one of the richest in the country. In fact we are the majority stockholder of the company that owns the casino that I am playing in and after graduation I’m guaranteed a six-figure salary with them. So this Chi O comes over and starts asking me how much I’m worth as if there’s any doubt that I’m the richest person in the building with the exception of the Saudi prince who I earlier relieved of several thousand dollars at the poker table. This dumb broad is a soft six but has a nice ass so I say “Look ya dumb broad, why don’t we jump in my Ford F-150 King Ranch that we had shipped out so that I could have some wheels for the weekend and go out to the desert and continue this conversation in front of a camp fire with a bottle of Dom Perignon P2.” Long story short, I have my cock in her ass before I’ve got the cork out of the bottle. After giving her the boning that her father deserves, I jump in the truck and spin out leaving her where all Chi Os should end up, in the desert with a dying fire and a half empty bottle of champagne that will be flat long before her non-existent daddy gets there to save her. I got back to town, got balls deep in Fratty Couples’ mom’s ass to reorient myself, and now I’m back at the blackjack table where I’m $150k in the black. Later, bitches. Jizz Out.