Five Ways to Let Your Roommate Know You Need Some Privacy


It’s a problem we’ve all dealt with.  All you want in the world is a little late night privacy to get to know your opposite sexed friend a little better, but the massive stash of emergency beers in your mini-fridge make a visit from your roommate inevitable.

Before you put that crusty sock on your doorknob, think about what you’re doing. It’s 2014, and the go-to sock move died right along with Aaron Carter’s career. Technology has come a long way, and there are plenty more-subtle and less-disgusting ways to get the message across.

The Tie

Because you’re as classy as it gets, and even when you’re getting a little action you still want the world to know. Think about it: do you want a sweaty old tube sock to represent your bedroom escapades? Or would you rather have a symbol of class and elegance proclaiming to the world “Chicks dig me!”

Even this classy option isn’t without its downsides, however, Say you throw a particularly nice tie around your doorknob, and somebody’s selfish eyes catch it. Worse case scenario, you lose a tie you really liked AND have your roommate bust into your room. That’s what we call a lose-lose.

The Safe Word

This option takes a little planning, but it can definitely be a viable alternative. All you need to do is establish a predetermined catch phrase that means “I need a little privacy” with a little more subtlety than just saying “Hey dude, I’ve got a “friend” here, don’t come in.”

Anything from a random state name to an obscure movie character will suffice. The beauty of this option is that if your date’s wandering eyes catch your screen before the text is sent, there won’t be any negative repercussions. She’ll assume you’re just talking sports and let the courtship continue.

The Pledge

This one takes a little more planning, but the execution is both hilarious and effective. Chances are you have countless pledges wandering around your house pretending that they’re busy when in reality they’re just wasting everyone’s precious time. Pick the most timid looking one and give him some personal responsibility to craft him into a better man by having him take guard duty and help prevent unwanted visits

The Risk

Like to live on the edge? Then you might as well just say screw it and let your doorknob run bare. Bonus points if you just leave the door unlocked and accept the potential consequences. Sure, it could lead to an awkward encounter, but sometimes that’s half the fun.

The App

Remember that whole “embracing technology” thing we talked about earlier? This is the option you’ve been waiting for. While every other choice has its flaws and drawbacks, the new Sock-it app from Clorox does literally all of the work for you, helping you avoid the ultimate Bleachable Moment (what Clorox calls those really messy metaphorical and literal messes) – walking in on something you can never un-see Check out this video to see how the app works:

Simple activation? Check. GPS based notifications? Check. Subtlety? Double check. All you have to do is have you and the bros download the app. When you need to, just open the app, activate the privacy setting and then Sock-It notifies anyone that comes near your door to keep out.

You’ll never have to deal with roommate interruptions again (unless, of course, your roommate is just an asshole).  It’s about time that there was an app that was actually useful for a college student; there are already enough soul-crushing addictive games involving some variation of the word “flappy” out there.

Put your phone to good use, and get the privacy you deserve. Well, deserve might be a strong word, but at least get the privacy you’ve hoped for. Download the Sock-It app HERE and while you’re at it, be sure to share your Bleachable Moments at for a chance to win $20,000!

This post is sponsored by Clorox
  1. RaginBush84

    The reality of this app is one of the brothers is going to get the message and the whole chapter is going to come fuck with you and your slam

    6 years ago at 10:16 am
  2. Hazemaster 5000

    Is this what TFM has come to? Whoring itself out in fake articles for a pointless startup app? The sock on the door is classic and foolproof.

    6 years ago at 10:17 am

      at least they made an original attempt at advertising. One half point to tfm

      6 years ago at 3:23 pm
  3. Weisenheimer

    My roommate doesn’t pull, and I like to rub it in his face. Is there an app that will tell him it’s safe to enter when really it’s not?

    6 years ago at 10:20 am
  4. Rihanna Deserved It

    I went with “The Risk” option most of my college career. over a dozen people walked in on me having sex, and every time it was funny (at least for me. not so much for the slams)

    6 years ago at 11:38 am
  5. KennyFuckingPowerMoves

    Theres this new space aged technology called texting “hey bro im about to bang” Thats literally it

    6 years ago at 11:40 am