Former Oregon Football Player Reveals He’s Demon-Possessed In Terrifying Mugshot

Former All-American Oregon Ducks cornerback Cliff Harris was arrested over the weekend for theft and drug possession, apparently all while under the influence of a demonic possession, if his terrifying mugshot is any indication.

The police report didn’t specify what drugs Harris was stopped with, but if the windows into the void that are his eyes are any indication, bath salts feel like an odds on favorite. Granted, I’m not sure what bath salt “paraphernalia” would entail, aside from an actual bathtub, but based on how this guy looks in his mugshot I can’t rule out that he was so drug-strong at the time of his arrest that he wasn’t dragging a full clawfoot bathtub* behind him. Maybe that’s what he stole. Everything is in play here.

*Note: The women in my life have forced me to watch way too much HGTV.

And God help whoever he stole from. I’m not going to lie, if this guy broke into my house, looking like that, I wouldn’t even bother defending myself. All my stuff would be his. I’d just run out the back. What’s the best case scenario? I have a gun to shoot him with? There are a lot of ways I don’t want to die, and screaming, “The bullets aren’t working” as something that escaped from hell charges toward me is absolutely one of those ways.

Godspeed to the priest they call in to handle this situation.

[via The Oregonian]

  1. CheeseDicks

    Not even the worse looking mug shot to come out of Oregon this weekend. The androgynous protesters take the cake for that one.

    8 years ago at 11:47 am
  2. kbrooks14

    I imagine looking at him through a facemask being very similar to looking at a pissed off Bobby Boucher

    8 years ago at 11:52 am
  3. Drunk Chris Berman

    So glad all that Oregon has returned to the cellar where they belong in CFB

    8 years ago at 11:57 am
  4. spilly

    Yeah, nice try, Bacon. Saying you have women in your life is like saying Dorn didn’t sneak in Hoover Elementary’s fall play last week.

    8 years ago at 1:55 pm