Gambling, BCS Bowls, and John Daly
13 years ago

TEXAS—There has always been, and always will be, a great degree of frat respect given to those who take huge risks to reap huge rewards. T. Boone Pickens is a stellar example of a man who made his fortune by taking risks, at one point losing much of his fortune, only to make it all back, and then some.

The rush that comes with chance is something that all fraternity men crave, which is clearly why so many of us choose to pass on contraceptives. Condoms are for sailors. Obviously it’s not a good idea to be firing off slap shots without a goalie in the net, so make sure the fine, top-tier sorority girl that is no doubt guided by the highest moral standards, is on some type of BC. No need to have little fratlings running around until you’re ready.

As the spreads are released for the much-anticipated BCS Bowl games, there isn’t a frat daddy in the country who doesn’t feel the itch to fill his sportsbook account with some of that “education” money set aside in his trust fund. At the very least we are all tempted to dump every penny we earned (yeah, earned) from our grandparents in the form of Christmas cash onto the obviously frattier underdog [ EDIT: Auburn is now favored -3 ], Auburn, in the BCS National Championship game. Phil Knight might be one of the best possible alumni a university’s athletic program could hope for, but he can’t make Oregon frat. On the other hand, Auburn’s Greek system and Cam Newton’s dad certainly have made Auburn frattier.

At this point if you are a serious gambler who wins more than loses, professional gambler, or gambling addict who doesn’t see the humor here, get out. During the World Cup I personally put my dad’s money on the USA during every single match because I am an American, and this is America. I didn’t care what the spread was. My fraternity brother lost twelve consecutive bets on the most recent World Cup by creating ridiculous 8 team parlays, and throwing down dough on Slovenia simply because he won often playing with the team on Xbox’s FIFA Soccer 2010. For the record I haven’t watched a single soccer match since the World Cup ended, and I won’t until the next one begins. Unless you own the team, caring about soccer is for GDIs. That’s not the point. The point is gambling is awesome.

The role model of outlandish and irresponsible gambling is, hands down, John Daly. He admits in his book, John Daly: My Life In and Out of the Rough, that he lost between $50 million and $60 million during a 12-year stretch of hardcore gambling. Daly has always been a shining example of what not to do when it comes to discretionary action, but one story in particular is mind blowing to say the least. He earned $750,000 when he finished in second place to Tiger Woods after a playoff at the World Golf Championship, drove straight to Las Vegas and lost $1.65 million in five hours on $5,000 slot machines. I have never been one for the slots or understood their appeal (give me blackjack, sports betting, and Texas Hold ‘Em), but you know that was one hell of a night for Daly.

During one of the biggest gambling seasons of the year where the NFL, NBA, and BCS Bowl games all overlap, I wish you all better luck than John Daly. Remember, that money you win goes straight to your bar tab to impress sorostitutes. If you lose, pretend you won and go to the bar anyway. It’s the holiday season. Enjoy your self. Good luck.