General Hawk: US Jetfighters Will Have Laser Cannons By 2020

Screen Shot 2015-09-21 at 7.21.29 PM

Lasers are powerful, miraculous tools with a myriad of uses. A laser pointer can ruin an asshole professor’s presentation with a stealthy and well-timed swirl directed at the crotchal region. A laser hair remover can make even the most rugged of female hoods silky smooth. And soon, jets with FREAKING LASER CANNONS will rain concentrated bursts of death and destruction onto the heads of commies and terrorists motherfucking Han Solo style.

According to aptly named Airforce General Hawk Carlisle, the United States will be zapping Jihadists like ants under a magnifying glass by 2020.

From Technica:

“I believe we’ll have a directed energy pod we can put on a fighter plane very soon,” Air Force General Hawk Carlisle said at this week’s Air Force Association Air & Space conference in a presentation on what he called Fifth-Generation Warfare. “That day is a lot closer than I think a lot of people think it is.”

We already have laser cannons mounted to Navy ships that are capable of microwaving enemies by sea, but strapping those bad boys on jetfighters is infinitely cooler. Carlisle says that laser-wielding-aircraft will also save taxpayer money. Lasers have a much, much lower “cost per shot” than missiles and guns: a mere $1 per blast.

Here’s some footage of the laser cannon on the USS Ponce destroying targets mounted on watercraft, and shooting an unmanned test drone out of the sky.

Imagine that shit on an airplane, son. Fuck yeah.

[via Technica]

Image via YouTube

  1. Dave1029

    It’s pretty cool stuff. The only problem with them, is while they have a low cost per shot, they have an extremely high initial cost to make and buy one.

    10 years ago at 8:00 pm
      1. Dave1029

        Still cheaper than buying a laser. The cost benefit analysis is based on how often they are used. So if a fighter jet was seeing active fighting every day, then yeah a laser is probably the more economical option. A reserve fighter jet located in the states doesn’t need a laser.

        10 years ago at 11:43 am
  2. RutherfordBeHazed

    This is taken straight from a Gizmodo article from January 2013. Even the picture is the same. Solid journalism.

    10 years ago at 8:02 pm
  3. BrianTR

    I can’t wait until I serve my beloved country in the Air Force as a fighter pilot!

    10 years ago at 8:05 pm
    1. ScoochMcGooch

      We admire and honor those who serve, but right now you’re essentially the rushee announcing “yeah, once I’m a brother, I’ll …” Don’t talk like you’re in yet.

      10 years ago at 8:36 pm
    1. Booze_Hound

      This could be a good troll account. Listen to the Grateful Dead, post a few more comments, and let’s see where this goes.

      10 years ago at 9:11 pm
      1. hippie dippie

        not sure what’s happening here mean, man, you’re a hound and you listen to the grateful dead? i once told my dog to play dead and he was like “naw man, i’d rather play bob dylan!” huhhuhuhhuhuhhuh ohh man, i’ve got the munchies..

        10 years ago at 10:21 pm