General Hawk: US Jetfighters Will Have Laser Cannons By 2020
Lasers are powerful, miraculous tools with a myriad of uses. A laser pointer can ruin an asshole professor’s presentation with a stealthy and well-timed swirl directed at the crotchal region. A laser hair remover can make even the most rugged of female hoods silky smooth. And soon, jets with FREAKING LASER CANNONS will rain concentrated bursts of death and destruction onto the heads of commies and terrorists motherfucking Han Solo style.
According to aptly named Airforce General Hawk Carlisle, the United States will be zapping Jihadists like ants under a magnifying glass by 2020.
From Technica:
“I believe we’ll have a directed energy pod we can put on a fighter plane very soon,” Air Force General Hawk Carlisle said at this week’s Air Force Association Air & Space conference in a presentation on what he called Fifth-Generation Warfare. “That day is a lot closer than I think a lot of people think it is.”
We already have laser cannons mounted to Navy ships that are capable of microwaving enemies by sea, but strapping those bad boys on jetfighters is infinitely cooler. Carlisle says that laser-wielding-aircraft will also save taxpayer money. Lasers have a much, much lower “cost per shot” than missiles and guns: a mere $1 per blast.
Here’s some footage of the laser cannon on the USS Ponce destroying targets mounted on watercraft, and shooting an unmanned test drone out of the sky.
Imagine that shit on an airplane, son. Fuck yeah..
[via Technica]
Image via YouTube
For when you want fried haji
10 years ago at 7:34 pmRed leader: standing by.
10 years ago at 7:42 pmBlue leader, standing by.
10 years ago at 8:23 pmLock S-Foils in attack position.
10 years ago at 9:04 pmWe’re passing through the magnetic field
10 years ago at 10:58 pmSwitch all power to front deflector screens
10 years ago at 1:21 amWatch for enemy fighters
10 years ago at 1:49 amRed October standing by
10 years ago at 9:12 pmId say swing and a miss but it really doesnt do that shit comment justice.
10 years ago at 9:44 pmair force one ready for lift off lolololol
10 years ago at 6:16 amIf ever there was a Porkins TFM account…this is his calling
10 years ago at 1:03 amJust happy to see that this wasn’t the 100th Steve Holt article today.
10 years ago at 7:45 pmThis post isn’t what we asked for. It’s what we deserved.
10 years ago at 7:53 pmGeneral Hawk.. What a badass name
10 years ago at 7:58 pmLike something out of an action movie
10 years ago at 8:04 pmIt’s pretty cool stuff. The only problem with them, is while they have a low cost per shot, they have an extremely high initial cost to make and buy one.
10 years ago at 8:00 pmYeah because hellfire missiles come out of the bargain bin…
10 years ago at 1:23 amStill cheaper than buying a laser. The cost benefit analysis is based on how often they are used. So if a fighter jet was seeing active fighting every day, then yeah a laser is probably the more economical option. A reserve fighter jet located in the states doesn’t need a laser.
10 years ago at 11:43 amStop being a nerd and agree that lasers are the shit
10 years ago at 8:56 pmThis is taken straight from a Gizmodo article from January 2013. Even the picture is the same. Solid journalism.
10 years ago at 8:02 pmI can’t wait until I serve my beloved country in the Air Force as a fighter pilot!
10 years ago at 8:05 pmWe admire and honor those who serve, but right now you’re essentially the rushee announcing “yeah, once I’m a brother, I’ll …” Don’t talk like you’re in yet.
10 years ago at 8:36 pmSay that to the guys at your interview, you’ll get hired in no time!
10 years ago at 7:28 ambogus, man. ban the bomb! lose the lasers! flower power forever!
10 years ago at 8:11 pmThis could be a good troll account. Listen to the Grateful Dead, post a few more comments, and let’s see where this goes.
10 years ago at 9:11 pmnot sure what’s happening here mean, man, you’re a hound and you listen to the grateful dead? i once told my dog to play dead and he was like “naw man, i’d rather play bob dylan!” huhhuhuhhuhuhhuh ohh man, i’ve got the munchies..
10 years ago at 10:21 pmAaaaaaand there it goes.
10 years ago at 10:15 amTerrorist around the world just shit themselves.
10 years ago at 8:28 pm