General Hawk: US Jetfighters Will Have Laser Cannons By 2020

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Lasers are powerful, miraculous tools with a myriad of uses. A laser pointer can ruin an asshole professor’s presentation with a stealthy and well-timed swirl directed at the crotchal region. A laser hair remover can make even the most rugged of female hoods silky smooth. And soon, jets with FREAKING LASER CANNONS will rain concentrated bursts of death and destruction onto the heads of commies and terrorists motherfucking Han Solo style.

According to aptly named Airforce General Hawk Carlisle, the United States will be zapping Jihadists like ants under a magnifying glass by 2020.

From Technica:

“I believe we’ll have a directed energy pod we can put on a fighter plane very soon,” Air Force General Hawk Carlisle said at this week’s Air Force Association Air & Space conference in a presentation on what he called Fifth-Generation Warfare. “That day is a lot closer than I think a lot of people think it is.”

We already have laser cannons mounted to Navy ships that are capable of microwaving enemies by sea, but strapping those bad boys on jetfighters is infinitely cooler. Carlisle says that laser-wielding-aircraft will also save taxpayer money. Lasers have a much, much lower “cost per shot” than missiles and guns: a mere $1 per blast.

Here’s some footage of the laser cannon on the USS Ponce destroying targets mounted on watercraft, and shooting an unmanned test drone out of the sky.

Imagine that shit on an airplane, son. Fuck yeah.

[via Technica]

Image via YouTube

    1. MacAllen

      Jesus Christ not you again. Listen, fucko, not even the Pikes will take you at this point. Get the hell out.
      Sincerely,
      Shove your dick in a Prius exhaust pipe

      10 years ago at 9:51 pm
      1. keg__atron69

        You have some serious problems man. You go see a doctor about you shoving you dick in an exhaust pipe .

        10 years ago at 6:26 am
  1. FrattingAtFL310

    “US Jetfighters […]” (picture of a B-1 Lancer)… Good lord, people. Get your shit together.

    10 years ago at 10:54 pm
  2. Lord Fratquaad

    Hawk Carlisle.

    My God, with a name like that, he almost had no choice but to become a badass Air Force General.

    10 years ago at 11:54 pm
  3. Tucker

    We already used PEQ-15s to blind people. Outside of their main use with NVDs. Nothing like surprising a isis fuck by shining a IR laser into his Cornea. Never sees it coming.

    10 years ago at 12:49 am
  4. JustCallMeRed

    They actually already have these mounted on the nose of modified 747s. The primary issue is minimizing the weight and volume of the power source within the aircraft. Also the cover photo of this article is bogus, the laser or maser used isn’t in the visible spectrum, they use microwaves or infrared.

    10 years ago at 10:12 am
  5. USAFA17

    Besides the fact the picture is not a jet… bad ass. May have to rethink going for pilot

    10 years ago at 12:25 pm