Golden Tee: Compromising Office Friendships

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A lot has changed since the last time I checked in on the Golden Tee front. She still sits in the same spot at TFM Headquarters, and we still play it literally every single day after lunch. It’s just that there are some glaring differences now. For starters, we no longer suck at the game. At the time I published the last Golden Tee piece about a year and half ago, and with only a couple rounds under our belts, we were barely breaking par. Our knowledge of the courses was lacking, we hadn’t yet figured out the proper spin control protocol, our approach games were askew, and our putting was an embarrassment. Like any fine art, though, repetition is vital to honing your craft. With so many subtle nuances and strategies to this game, any top tier player has to have logged many hours in front of the machine.

That’s what we had to do, so that’s what we did, and that’s what we continue to do. Our games sharpened up. We learned to shape shots, read the greens, how to hit our drives in such a way to gain an extra 25-ish yards each time, and we learned how to score low. Sometimes very, very low. With so many rounds of GT being played, with scores dipping down to 25 under and beyond, and with copious amounts of testosterone and ego walking the halls here, there was only one more natural step to take — so we started gambling. That was the beginning of the slow descent of the inner-office congeniality.

Bolen is no longer just the buddy in the next office over. He’s my biggest threat to rip the office GT crown off my head. Nick in sales is no longer that really nice guy I chat up each morning before we begin our work days. He’s the up-and-coming semi-pro with a nice approach game. Matt in IT is no longer that lovable nerd that tags along with us to lunch each day. I keep hearing him out there alone, practicing in his down time, working hard to take a shot at the title. This makes him a threat. They’re all threats. I want to humiliate them.

Bolen and I, though…our games have excelled at essentially the same rate, and we battle each other daily. We have a running bet going. It goes like this:

– Each victory (per round of 18 holes) counts as two points on Monday through Thursday.
– Each victory on Friday counts as three.
– Each time a player accrues 5 points, they win $10.
– Payouts occur once a player is owed $100 from the other.

I’ve won a total of $310 from Bolen, $200 of which he has paid. Shit gets heated sometimes.

As game time approaches each day, my thoughts have run the full gamut throughout our time with the GT, from I wonder if my main man Bolen is ready to hit the GT links today, and all the way to I cannot wait to beat his ass up and down Dusty Bend. I’m only three wins away from taking another 100 dollars from that poor bastard, but more importantly, I’m about 100 wins past ripping his prideful heart right out of his chest and serving it up to him on a 60″ wall-mounted flat screen surface.

That reminds me: Bolen still owes me $100. I’m about to go in his office, prop my feat up on his desk, and put some heat on him.

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Contact a Golden Tee representative HERE, and if you mention this write up to them, they are knocking $500 off the price of a 2013 Golden Tee Home Edition.

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  1. dmonster

    Perfect reminder how to spend the last half hour of interning today, break room it is.

    11 years ago at 3:26 pm
  2. Toomers corner

    Just steal that Hundo from his wallet there. Then prop your feet on the desk. And snap it.

    11 years ago at 3:39 pm
  3. Enraged TFM User

    Hey Dorn, do me a favor. If Matt is TFM Tech Guy, GO TELL HIM TO FUCK HIMSELF!!

    11 years ago at 4:23 pm