Grilling Meat Gives You Cancer, But Beer Prevents It

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Next time you are forced to chug a beer and hold it over your head and scream “finished, sir!” at someone only a year older than you, you better make damn sure none of it drips on your head. After all, that beer could save your life one day.

Scientists in Portugal recently completed studies showing that beer could prevent cancer. You see, when you grill a steak, or a burger, or chicken, or sausage, or a pork loin, or corn on the cob, or a pizza, molecules called polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons (PAHs) are formed. These things mess up your DNA and can cause colon cancer, which in turn can cause you to shit in a bag for the rest of your days. Sucks, right?

Wrong. When barley is roasted in the beer brewing process, melanoids are formed, and these things fight off the ass cancer-causing PAHs. Before you grill, make sure you soak the animal slab in beer — but not the Pisswater Light you grab out of the bathtub behind the basement bar. No, for this, you’re going to need a Guinness, because the darker the beer, the better.

From The Economist:

When cooked, unmarinated steaks had an average of 21 nanograms (billionths of a gram) of PAHs per gram of grilled meat. Those marinated in Pilsner averaged 18 nanograms. Those marinated in black beer averaged only 10 nanograms.

Throw a few back while you’re tending the barbeque, too. After all, if a little as a marinade can prevent cancer, imagine what a thirty rack in your belly could solve.

It’s science.

[via The Economist]

Image via Shutterstock

    1. AlotInsideAmySchumer

      So what the fuck nowadays doesn’t give you cancer? Smoking? What about fake sugar, that sounds healthy.

      10 years ago at 10:56 am
  1. Mcfratdeluxe

    So I’ll prevent cancer, but still fuck up my liver. Still drinking, still grilling.

    10 years ago at 10:08 am
  2. waltjrsfratcock

    I’m glad my chances of grill cancer go from .000000021% to .00000001%, I think I’ll take a risk

    10 years ago at 10:16 am
    1. RageEveryDay

      Are you retarded? The concentration of a chemical is not the same as a probability of illness. If that was the case, people would drink water with lead concentrations of 20 nanograms per Liter. Which, given by the stupidity of your post, wouldn’t surprise me if you have.

      10 years ago at 11:19 am
  3. I_win

    In no way, shape or form does beer prevent any kind of cancer. There are toxins in beer that actually speed up the development of some cancers. #blackballhelmetstickers

    10 years ago at 10:19 am
    1. RogerSterlingJr

      I’ve been around longer than helmet stickers, pledge. You’ll get hazed for not knowing older brother. Also, I’m going to go with The Economist’s opinion over yours. Now give me 50

      10 years ago at 11:19 am
  4. Confraterate Flag

    At this point I embrace cancer. Less time having to see Steve Holt still not blackballed

    10 years ago at 10:27 am
  5. Antebellum_Fratting

    “On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.” Might as well enjoy it.

    10 years ago at 10:29 am
  6. CycloneWasted

    John Wayne died with 6 lbs of undigested red meat in his ass. Now that’s a real man!

    10 years ago at 11:54 am
  7. CornIsFrat

    Stress causes cancer. Worrying causes stress. Shit like this causes worrying. Connect the dots.

    10 years ago at 1:49 am