Here’s A Pretty Solid Telestrator Dong From the 49ers-Dolphins Game To Brighten Up Your Sunday

telestratordong

Context? No idea. Do we need one? Somebody drew a big floppy dick on national TV. But apparently that defensive end or linebacker (or safety or corner?) isn’t a fan of what that running back is up to. I guess. I don’t care. The NFL can go blow a handful of downed, live electrical wires.

I really just want to be in the production truck when these things happen.

“Oh Jesus, Charles drew a dick. It’s a real flopper. Cut away. CUT. AWAY.”

Goodell probably hates it when that happens too. It probably drives him insane. If I were an ex-NFL player in the booth for Fox/ESPN/CBS/NBC/NFL Network that’s one of the many petty, childish ways I would exact revenge on him for running the NFL like a hard-nosed but also somehow corrupt high school principal, and treating all the players like little shits he’s forced to tolerate. Drawing dicks on everything and letting it disseminate across cyberspace. Goodell’s product, his pride and joy, covered in bright yellow dongs.

And when they tried to act like I was doing it willfully and maliciously, I’d just blame it on the CTE. Then everyone would be like, “Awww, poor guy. Football made his brains all mushy and now he can’t stop drawing wieners on everything. Nobody fire him, that would be cruel.”

It’s the perfect plan. Please, ex-NFL players, I implore you to do this. Fight back. Like a 13-year-old.

[via Twitter]

  1. JohnRedcorn211

    Imagine getting paid (whatever meager amount you do get paid), to write an article about something resembling a dick.

    9 years ago at 1:49 pm
    1. greekprospect

      Imagine being so incompetently stupid and getting paid for it. That’s Wally.

      9 years ago at 1:55 pm
  2. Fratan

    Rob Fox (né Bacon) is Director of Video Content and a Senior Writer for Total Frat Move, Rowdy Gentleman, and Post Grad Problems. He is a graduate, without honors, from the University of Missouri. Rob is originally from St. Louis, and currently lives in Austin, Texas. He still has not admitted to his family what he does for a living, and is prone to having wet nightmares ever since losing his virginity in a haunted house.

    9 years ago at 2:03 pm
  3. Fratistics101

    It’s not even that big of a deal something like 8 percent of broadcasters do it

    9 years ago at 4:16 pm
  4. TaylorSwiftsPubeGroomer

    Seeing a dick drawn on your tv is NF. Finding out it was traced is FAF

    9 years ago at 10:20 pm
  5. Bushism

    Take a break from this dumpster fire of a website and in the week I’ve been back there have been not one but two articles about dicks. Guess it’s time for another break

    9 years ago at 3:58 am