Here’s A Totally Normal Feminist Making Bread Using Yeast From Her Yeast Infected Vagina

Screen Shot 2015-11-24 at 9.48.52 AM

So I’m not really sure what yeast is. All I basically know about yeast is that it’s a gross word and it’s used to make bread and I think beer? Also, I know that sometimes vaginas get yeasty. But also it’s not a desirable trait of your vagina to have an abundance of yeast because there’s a thing called a yeast infection that sounds disgusting and you take medicine or rub ointment or some shit down there to clear it up. So that tells me vagina yeast is nasty and sounds like it probably smells funky and you want to avoid a yeasty vagina if possible.

Maybe vagina yeast and the yeast used to make bread are similar substances? It seems that way since possibly unstable Twitter feminist @stavvers is currently making bread with the following ingredients:

• 1 small Greek coffee-sized cup of plain flour
• 1/2 small Greek coffee-sized cup of water
as much vaginal yeast as she could scrape off her dildo after inserting it inside her

I’m not particularly concerned with any kind of statement to be derived from this. I think I speak for most people when I say I’m more just grossed out that you’re cooking up some sourdough bread using the excretion from your infected genitals. You know?

Stavvers is documenting the entire vomit-inducing process, one she has named #cuntsourdough, in a blog that no one asked for that she created on Monday. In her blog post, she explains how the idea came to her. Warning: it’s fucking vile.

It all started with a fatal combination of a slightly perverse sense of humour, a keenly scientific mind, and touch of the thrush. Waking up on Saturday with the familiar itchy burny fanny, I giggled to myself “maybe I could make bread with that”. And that ticked into, “well, I’ve always wanted to try making my own sourdough anyway” and then a “fuck, would that even work?” and then I got curious and the next thing that happened was I was scraping white goop off of a dildo into a bowl of flour mixed with water.

The term “thrush” was unfamiliar to me, as I’m sure it is to some of you. Here’s the urban dictionary definition:

Screen Shot 2015-11-24 at 10.01.44 AM

And that last line once more: “I was scraping white goop off of a dildo into a bowl of flour mixed with water.”

The blog is really long and I’m not reading any more because I have a bitch ass stomach and I will straight lose my breakfast all over my keyboard if I keep going. She does include some disgusted, yet appropriate responses from people on Twitter. A few are below.

I think we’ve found the least desirable woman on the face of the planet.

[via Another Angry Woman]

Images via Twitter

    1. Call sign_Goose

      …I don’t even have words. Men won the battle of the sexes when women started doing pole dancing exercise classes but now that whole team is just a dumpster fire getting exponentially bigger, take the loss like a good sport for christ sakes and spare us from having to ever imagine something as gross as this again. Im appalled…

      9 years ago at 3:22 pm
      1. FrayettevilleLegend

        Andrew Zimmerman wouldn’t even eat a sandwich that nasty bitch made.

        9 years ago at 4:14 pm
      1. Broties n Boatshoes

        Dorn, I know this is a little off-topic, but I wanted to take this opportunity to let you know that your hair is below average, as is your golf swing.

        9 years ago at 10:47 am
      2. Larry_Sellers

        Dorn, since you’re a Vice President of media or some shit, what is the explanation for no Fail Friday last week? The people deserve a little transparency.

        9 years ago at 12:08 pm
  1. BillyBomber

    I’m just really questioning why you felt the need to give this horrible atrocity any more attention than it has already gotten. I really didn’t need to read a recipe for vaginal yeast bread and I definitely did not need to see pictures of vaginal yeast flower water, yet here we are.

    9 years ago at 10:44 am
    1. Oral Hershiser

      The answer, of course, is that we all clicked. Don’t worry, I also hate myself.

      9 years ago at 12:18 pm
  2. geed_N_proud

    I clicked on the article to solely comment how disgusting this sounds. Refuse to read it.

    9 years ago at 10:45 am