High School Frat Prospects

Note: The following characters are fictional.

Clayton Hodge

Height: 5’10”
Weight: 190 lbs.
High School: Beaumont Kelly – Beaumont, TX
GPA: 2.9

– dedicated alcoholic
– can bong two beers in 5 seconds flat
– father is successful lawyer
– seasoned crawfish boiler
– doesn’t believe in monogamy
– smooth talker, regularly outkicks coverage with girls

– has a lifted truck with dual exhaust and Flowmasters
– faint signs of a receding hairline
– has an entire Rascal Flatts album on his iPod

Classmate Quote: “Good ole Hodgie. Wouldn’t let him near my girlfriend. I’ll tell you that much.”

Considering: Texas A&M, Texas State, LSU

    1. Sir Slams a lot

      ^^ It clearly states that these are fictional characters. On your lap, learn to read.

      12 years ago at 1:09 pm
    2. Phrat kappa tau

      The sheer fact Youngstown State got mentioned in this is a joke. They have the most pathetic greek system in existence. Literally a bunch of shit hole houses in the ghetto where they try to pass off “parties” and the sororities are filled with nothing but girls who often times weigh more than the men in fraternities.

      Literally not joking at all

      12 years ago at 3:54 pm
    3. Phrat kappa tau

      and I definitely did not want to reply to this comment. Dammit.
      Lacing up as we speak…

      12 years ago at 3:55 pm
    4. holdin pee in for u

      ^After reading many of your comments in recent years, I have come to the conclusion that you are loosey goosey

      12 years ago at 6:38 pm
      1. MichelleO is a Hoe

        And you most likely have a urinary tract infection due to holding pee in for soo long. Get that shit checked out, bud.

        12 years ago at 9:28 pm
    5. Natural Fratastrophe

      Thats Cooper Smith. He plays baseball at Cornell. The picture with Bush is not photoshopped. I went to high school with him.

      12 years ago at 7:51 pm
    1. Join_Or_Die

      Goddamnit, I expect this bullshit from Fratdusky maybe, but I thought Dorn was better than this. #TeamBacon

      12 years ago at 5:21 pm
    1. Texas Tux and Oil

      Guy #1 was spot one, everyone at TX State, LSU and A&M is from Blow Mont

      12 years ago at 3:03 pm
    1. Rutherford B_Haze

      ^^ I don’t think tyler understands the gravity of what he has just done. This very well could become the new “first”

      12 years ago at 5:25 pm
    1. middlemist red

      judging by your name I can already assure you this is not the “gayest thing” you ever read

      12 years ago at 12:51 pm
  1. GregMarmalard

    I thought it was a funny column and if you didn’t get the obvious comparison to Rivals, you’re a fucking idiot and don’t pay enough attention to college football or basketball.

    12 years ago at 12:32 pm