How About This 92-Year-Old World War II Veteran Throwing A First Pitch From The Rubber?

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92-year-old United States Navy 2nd Class Petty Officer Burke Waldron is a national treasure that we uncovered yesterday at the Mariners-Padres Memorial Day game.

Look at that limber son of a gun storm out of the dugout like he’s taking the beaches of Normandy. I just tweaked my hammy running a 40 yard dash at 25 and this dude is high-steppin’ right on top of my leg’s grave — almost 7 decades my elder. The zesty lefty takes the fucking rubber, too, gives the crowd a little wave, and drops a nasty 12-6 curveball. The showmanship. The pageantry. The athleticism. 92. Years. Old. If I ever live to be that age — I won’t — there’s a zero percent chance I’m anything but an immobile bag of bones that the nurses at an assisted living facility smother with a pillow to put out of my own pants-shitting misery. Meanwhile, Burke is just lighting up the radar gun. Has to be juicing, right? Wouldn’t be surprised if he got popped by the league with HGH in his Ensure shakes.

      1. NatashaQuinnn

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        8 years ago at 2:49 pm
    1. AXPeeInHerButt

      This is definitely one of those old school guys who support the unwritten rules of the game, the most basic of which is no walking on the baseball field.

      8 years ago at 11:34 am
  1. IglooButts

    Dan, it’s okay I don’t think any of us intend on living past mid 60s. The moment a doctor tells me I can’t drink is the day I’ll die.

    8 years ago at 10:57 am
  2. sofratyolotfm

    To be honest, you look like you’re pretty close to being an “immobile bag of bones” right now.

    8 years ago at 11:01 am
    1. KingOf4s

      It was the best throw Iv seen from a 92 year old… Probably better than yours anyways

      8 years ago at 11:12 am
    2. drwkelley

      Okay you serve in a war and live to see 92 years of age. I respect him more than you. You fucking prick.

      8 years ago at 4:03 pm
  3. GeorgeH31

    I feel like world war 2 vets are in the best shape of their lives still thanks to the military skills and training they did just like one veteran who is like 103. Plus also many were farmers so that could be it too.

    8 years ago at 11:25 am
  4. RisingFratstarOfTX

    “See that shit, pledge? What’s your excuse for fucking up now? Maybe I should hand your bid off to him, he could guarantee some quality around here.”

    8 years ago at 11:43 am