Having self control is important, and I take pride in my ability to avoid physical confrontation. Don’t get it twisted, though; I won’t shy away from throwin’ bows like Ludacris if I need to protect myself, my loved ones, or House Targaryen. You just can’t escape from some battles. However, unless you’re an aggressive drunk or a habitual douchebag, those instances should be few and far between. As guys, we all like to believe that we’re natural-born MMA fighters, and that type of mentality happens to be the leading cause of black eyes and bruised egos at bars all across the country. To combat this, let me give you some helpful advice on how to avoid a bar fight.
Have A Positive Attitude
The whole point of going out is to have a good time. Even if your goal is to meet a special lady, you won’t have much success if you’re pissed off and stomping around like you took too much pre-workout. Just chill out, my dude. Why do you think it’s necessary to pregame before a night out? The preliminary indulgence of alcohol helps you loosen up so you don’t end up being an antisocial prick. Follow the advice of the late, great Bob Marley: Don’t worry, be happy. Obviously he smoked a lot of weed, so you can always do that too.
I can’t emphasize enough how vital it is to be non-reactive, especially when at a bar. With all of the crying girls and drunken idiots everywhere, it can be a very reactive environment. You have to assume that someone is going to bump into you with their drink or inadvertently step on your new Chelsea boots. That’s just the type of shit that happens in a crowded bar. Brush it off and proceed to enjoy your overpriced pint of domestic beer. You don’t want something petty and irrelevant to ruin your entire night.
De-Escalate The Situation
This is where most guys fuck up. As much as you try to mind your own business and get hammered with your friends, at some point someone is going to try and start shit. Maybe it’s a guy who thought you were mean-muggin’ him from across the bar or a girl who thought you grabbed her ass when she walked past you. If you’re ever caught in this situation, just try to de-escalate the tension. Be understanding and non-confrontational. Offer to buy them a drink or a shot, if you can. The last thing you want is for shit to go sideways and you end up getting cracked across the dome with a Heineken bottle.
Learn How To Just Walk Away
Sometimes, you’re just going to have to put your ego aside and swallow your pride. Look, there’s absolutely no shame in walking away from a fight. There’s nothing macho about getting your ass beat because you decided to retaliate against someone who happens to actually train in Brazilian jiu-jitsu. Your buddies will probably call you a wuss for not throwing a punch and roast you about it. You managed to successfully leave the bar without a trip to the hospital, however, and that’s always a win to me..