I Turned A Bunch Of Nonsense Gronk Tweets Into 7 Thought-Provoking Haikus

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Sometimes I feel like Rob Gronkowski is just a big, lovable, misunderstood meathead. If you peeled Gronk back like an onion, layer by layer, what would you find? Is all the partying and drinking just a cover for his innate sensitivity? Is he really a beautiful, delicate soul withering away inside the body of a gladiator with the public speaking capabilities of an inebriated sixth grader?

I went to his Twitter account and pulled some of his unintelligible tweets, then pasted them together to see if I could extract any kind of meaning behind them. Maybe Gronk, a retail and consumer sciences major at the University of Arizona, is just shielding the world from his poetic prowess because he is embarrassed and ashamed.

Here are seven powerful haikus written by Robert James Gronkowski:

Work outs all day long
Straight chilling and relaxing
Spelt words wrong I guess

This snow is wild
Grind time with DJ no shirt
Tough loss yesterday

Have a great day folks
Don’t forget to eat dessert
Shout out to my mom

Power naps the best
Crunchy peanut butter or creamy
Happy father’s day

Just did some pushups
Work hard to get what you want
Join the Gronktourage

Chilling with my girl
Bout to chow on a nice steak
O heck yea haha

K I’m live let’s go
Gronk flakes best night snack out Lol
Chilling with my girl

File this under “influential literature.”

Image via Shutterstock

  1. RedPill

    7 Tweets from Steve Holt:

    1. Roger Dorn moves to suburban golf community. Check Your Privilege!!!
    2.Spied on Bacon taking a shit. He reads Wall Street Journal. #CapitalistPig
    3. Taking Karate class. Soon will kick Harrison Lee ass.
    4. Tinder Match. Meeting him for drinks tonight.
    5.HotPieceofTSM says I’m like a little brother to her. #sexuallyfrustrated
    6. Dorn gets free Moc Drivers for product review. #welfare
    7. Put laxatives in Dan Regester’ Weight Watchers ice cream.
    #DanRuh-jesterFoodMolester.

    10 years ago at 12:08 pm
    1. DwayneFrockJohnson

      RedPill, you’re quickly becoming one of the funnier accounts on here. Keep doing you

      10 years ago at 8:08 pm
  2. In hoc we poke

    I have a haiku:
    Despite being a Pat
    Gronkowski should be the prez
    Steve holt licks dude butts

    10 years ago at 2:48 pm