I Turned A Bunch Of Nonsense Gronk Tweets Into 7 Thought-Provoking Haikus
Sometimes I feel like Rob Gronkowski is just a big, lovable, misunderstood meathead. If you peeled Gronk back like an onion, layer by layer, what would you find? Is all the partying and drinking just a cover for his innate sensitivity? Is he really a beautiful, delicate soul withering away inside the body of a gladiator with the public speaking capabilities of an inebriated sixth grader?
I went to his Twitter account and pulled some of his unintelligible tweets, then pasted them together to see if I could extract any kind of meaning behind them. Maybe Gronk, a retail and consumer sciences major at the University of Arizona, is just shielding the world from his poetic prowess because he is embarrassed and ashamed.
Here are seven powerful haikus written by Robert James Gronkowski:
Work outs all day long
Straight chilling and relaxing
Spelt words wrong I guess
This snow is wild
Grind time with DJ no shirt
Tough loss yesterday
Have a great day folks
Don’t forget to eat dessert
Shout out to my mom
Power naps the best
Crunchy peanut butter or creamy
Happy father’s day
Just did some pushups
Work hard to get what you want
Join the Gronktourage
Chilling with my girl
Bout to chow on a nice steak
O heck yea haha
K I’m live let’s go
Gronk flakes best night snack out Lol
Chilling with my girl
File this under “influential literature.”
Image via Shutterstock
I turned a bunch of Helmet Sticker Tweets into 7 stacks of Bullshit.
10 years ago at 11:46 amCould’ve done better
10 years ago at 11:49 amYou really could have, Steve
10 years ago at 6:58 pmI like gronk as much as the next guy, but those haikus were weren’t good
10 years ago at 11:51 amYour English is isn’t good.
10 years ago at 1:34 pmYou’re still my boy, blue
10 years ago at 2:29 pmGronk is an American hero and Steve Holt is the human version of capris.
10 years ago at 12:06 pmI think Gronk truly wants to be a WWE wrestler…
10 years ago at 12:08 pm7 Tweets from Steve Holt:
1. Roger Dorn moves to suburban golf community. Check Your Privilege!!!
10 years ago at 12:08 pm2.Spied on Bacon taking a shit. He reads Wall Street Journal. #CapitalistPig
3. Taking Karate class. Soon will kick Harrison Lee ass.
4. Tinder Match. Meeting him for drinks tonight.
5.HotPieceofTSM says I’m like a little brother to her. #sexuallyfrustrated
6. Dorn gets free Moc Drivers for product review. #welfare
7. Put laxatives in Dan Regester’ Weight Watchers ice cream.
#DanRuh-jesterFoodMolester.
Well done
10 years ago at 7:28 pmRedPill, you’re quickly becoming one of the funnier accounts on here. Keep doing you
10 years ago at 8:08 pmMotion to blackball SteveHolt…
10 years ago at 12:16 pmSecond
10 years ago at 12:47 pmIt appears we have quorum
10 years ago at 4:27 pmWhen I think of Gronk= TFM
10 years ago at 12:29 pmSolid use of the equal sign, bro.
10 years ago at 1:20 pmNaming your group of friends after yourself. TFM.
10 years ago at 12:50 pmI have a haiku:
10 years ago at 2:48 pmDespite being a Pat
Gronkowski should be the prez
Steve holt licks dude butts
So… “Crunchy peanut butter or creamy” is 7 syllables?
10 years ago at 3:33 pm