If This American Airlines Glitch Causes My Flight To Vegas To Get Canceled, I Will Lose My Mind
7 years ago

jordan-sanchez-111052

American Airlines just announced that due to a massive computer glitch, all of their pilots were allowed to take the week of Christmas off. If it were any other year, I could care less. Sucks to suck. Don’t try to travel during the busiest travel time of the year, you stupid assholes. But this year is different because I am one of those stupid assholes, and my connecting flight is on American Airlines.

Two weeks from now I will be a college graduate so to reward myself I decided the first thing I should do with my freedom from school is spend eight days in Vegas. No better way to venture off into the world of responsible adulthood than to spend a week getting hammered drunk while gambling my life away. It is a holiday after all. But now you’re telling me that my good time may be in jeopardy?

I get where these pilots are coming from. We’ve all been in situations where somebody was forced to take one for the team. You can encourage the people around you as much as you want. “Do the right thing, guys,” but at the end of the day, nobody wants to be the guy going home with the troll so that the rest of the group can outkick their coverage.

But to all the pilots out there, I just want to make my plea. Is spending time with your family for the holidays really that great? Think about all of the things you will be able to bypass by working instead. Avoid your wife guilting you for never spending any time with the kids. Skip out on listening to your annoying brother-in-law ask way too many questions about what it’s like to “own the sky.” Miss out on your mother complaining that you chose such a dangerous occupation, ignoring the fact that your brother is a factory worker who has been involved in no less than six workplace accidents.

If you’re not going to do it for yourself, then do it for me. I really need this time to cut it loose. Having to stay at home instead, dealing with family bullshit, would be a crushing blow. Please consider abstaining from the holidays this year. My joyful time depends on it.

Image via Unsplash.com

  3. jizzrag69v2

    What kind of broke bitch flies commercial to Vegas? I flew out here in my family’s private jet, and we shipped my brand new Ford F-150 King Ranch out here so I would have some wheels and wouldn’t have to take Uber like some middle manager trying to shave expenses to make his per diem. We also shipped Fratty Couples’ and sigmanugs311’s moms out here to give me some familiar ass. Not that I’ve needed it. In the past seven days I’ve boned over 50 slampigs, all of them in the ass. I didn’t have to talk any of them into it, either. Every one of them came on to me, having seen the massive bulge in my expensive European jeans (unavailable in Man 0utfitters). I’ve had several repeat customers, including a Vietnamese grandmasan that starts saying “meenoveecee meenoveecee” as soon as I put it in her ass. I dunno what the hell it means but I get the impression she’d like to rip my cock off and feed it to the pigs. I guess that’s a turn-on that you virgins will never experience. OK shows over, you can stop cranking it now. Jizz Out.

    7 years ago at 9:33 pm
    1. thevaginator

      Agreed. If you’re too poor to fly private then keep your ass in general admission at the club and away from my bottles and bitches

      7 years ago at 9:51 pm
      1. jizzrag69v2

        An Embraer SkyYacht One you broke bitch. I suppose your family flies in some 60 year old Convair turboprop

        7 years ago at 8:51 am