Imposter Strolls Through Downtown South Carolina Telling Everyone He’s Starting QB Connor Mitch
Pictured above: the real Connor Mitch
When you’re the starting quarterback at a big-time football school, you’re going to be up to your facemask in poonanny. Something about having the entire school’s morale in the palm of your hand makes a pair of panties wetter than an o-lineman’s jockstrap in the fourth quarter.
Hoping to capitalize on the notoriety, South Carolina’s new QB, Connor Mitch, showed up to a college watering hole to tell everyone who he was. Problem is, Mitch wasn’t at the bar that night. In fact, he hasn’t dived into the sea of debauchery that is Five Points, USC’s college bar scene, since he turned 21.
Mitch discovered he had an impersonator after Alex Waelde, the marketing director of The Horseshoe Bar, sent him a direct message on Twitter apologizing for the long wait-time for drinks. Mitch then called out the poser.
This has happened multiple times. Haven't been downtown in months since my 21st. Find this fake imposter pic.twitter.com/smpwLVJeFk
— Connor Mitch (@Connor_Mitch3) August 27, 2015
Mitch says this wasn’t the first time something like this happened, and former Gamecock quarterback Stephen Garcia told him to get used to it.
@Connor_Mitch3 Hahaha it's only just begun man!
— Stephen Garcia (@StephenGarcia) August 27, 2015
Kind of a brilliant move on the part of the imposter. Dickish, but brilliant. A bunch of drunken college kids will be none the wiser. Mitch has yet to take the field for a regular season game and half of the school probably doesn’t even know what he looks like.
It is a shame that the fake Connor Mitch seemed to be doing wrong by the real Conner Mitch’s namesake, though. The marketing director slid into his DMs the next day to apologize for the wait time on the drinks, which means faux Mitch was probably acting like an asshole, demanding he be served before his subordinates while asking “DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO I AM, BRO?”
The Horseshoe Bar needs to go through their security footage, find the imposter, enhance the image, then plaster his smug fucking face next to the real Connor Mitch on every bar in town. When you find him, force him to suit up, snap him the ball, and have the lineman let him get blindsided by a d-tackle ten times in a row. That would be justice..
Relevant:
Image via YouTube
Impersonating a famous person to meet women TBarneyStinsonM
10 years ago at 2:00 pmFor being a “big time football school” South Carolina sure does fuckin suck.
10 years ago at 2:03 pmThat’s why you just tell people you’re the backup. No one knows who they are or will ever look into it
10 years ago at 2:06 pmTAlexMoranM
10 years ago at 2:47 pmThank you. Mitch Connor was the first thing I thought of when I read this headline.
10 years ago at 2:37 pmSo South Carolina is “a big-time football school”? Weren’t they one of the worst programs in NCAA history before Spurrier? And that was like 5 years ago. Lol at that shit.
10 years ago at 2:49 pmYeah but spurrier lead the fighting coots to a few capital one bowl titles. That’s nothing to sneeze at.
10 years ago at 10:19 pmI tried to pass myself off as Boosh but all it got me was a demand from the bartender (male) for the $20 I owed for the previous night’s hand job. The nerve!
10 years ago at 3:04 pmDT South Carolina? I was unaware South Carolina was a city. Ever heard of Columbia you dumbass
10 years ago at 4:51 pmI admire the audacity.
10 years ago at 6:13 pmWhere exactly is downtown South Carolina?
10 years ago at 9:38 pmTime to start claiming to be Jeb Bush so I can be drowning in a sea of 50 YO pussy and hundreds of millions of lobbyist dollars.
10 years ago at 7:01 am