So this is a pretty long story but bear with me. It’s good.
Spring semester sophomore year I had a MWF evening class with a few brothers. Like six o’clock, right around dinner time. No one wanted to be there but we all had to take the class and the other spots were filled up, so we made it the best out of it. Mondays and Wednesdays weren’t so bad, but obviously Fridays sucked because our entire house would be starting to pregame while we were heading off to class (and unlike what the TFM Wall makes it sound like we were pretty good about not skipping and we tried to do pretty well because it was a major course).
Eventually as the semester wore on we decided to start bringing drinks to class so we’d be buzzed for the walk back to the house. We’d bring flasks sometimes and be sneaky but mostly it was just water bottles with vodka and Sprite or a Coke bottle with a little whisky. But even this got a little boring, and we made the drinks stronger and stronger as the semester wore on, and it got to the point where we would sometimes be drunker than our buddies were when we finally made it back. It’s not like we were getting blacked out in class or whatever, but you get the point.
Another important part of the story is this girl Brianne. She was this girl our age who sat in the front of class. She was like your average liberal type, kinda hipster, kinda gave off a feminist vibe like giving us somewhat dirty looks when we all rolled into class at the same time. Which is weird, because it was a class for the business school and she definitely looked like a theater or English type. She even had one of those bull ring piercings through her nose which we all joked about. But she did pretty well, took the class seriously and all that, even sat in the front row every class and answered questions.
Well it gets to the end of the semester, like right before exams, and like I said we had been getting bolder and bolder with our drinking, sometimes getting pretty drunk before leaving. So one of my brothers, I’ll call him Sam, whispers in my ear before one of these final classes “gonna get wasted tonight man, and I’m starting right now”. So Sam is a bigger guy and I don’t think much of it, but his coke bottle must have been almost straight whisky because halfway through class I can smell the liquor on his breath and he’s making kinda funny grunting noises and laughs and stuff.
Well he finishes the bottle and the teacher is about to wrap up his lecture and Sam whispers to us again. He says “hey guys watch this, I’m gonna go fuck with that Brianne chick” or something like that. And he gets up, even while the teacher is still talking, and walks out of class like he’s just leaving early. But when he gets in front of Brianne he says “Oink Oink!” really loudly and yanks at her bullring. Well she just fucking screams, like a death howl and stands up and covers her nose and blood is rushing out.
Sam freaks out, runs into the hallway and we don’t see him for the rest of the night. The teacher gets all worked up too obviously and calls for an ambulance and they actually have to take the girl to the hospital for stitches. Turns out Sam actually ripped the entire goddamn ring out of her nose. We saw her next fall around campus some and she would give us just the worst glares ever, but it was hard not to laugh because even though they did the best they could her nose still looked gnarled and weird, kind of like a cauliflower.
Turns out Sam just wanted to tug it kinda, to make us laugh, and then he was gonna run out, only he didn’t realize how drunk he was or how easy it was gonna rip, and he ended up ruining this girl’s face for the rest of her life pretty much. He got suspended and was allowed back after taking all these violence and alcohol abuse courses which surprised the hell out of us, of course. We thought he was gonna get expelled.
After that we told ourselves we would never drink in class again, but this semester a group of us are in a Thursday class at seven and, well, let’s just say our vow didn’t last very long. And goddamnit, if I can’t help cracking my ass up any time I see one of those stupid ass rings in some left leaning hippy girl. Jesus Christ man, good times.
never seen before
11 years ago at 4:37 pmSo this is a pretty long story but bear with me. It’s good.
Spring semester sophomore year I had a MWF evening class with a few brothers. Like six o’clock, right around dinner time. No one wanted to be there but we all had to take the class and the other spots were filled up, so we made it the best out of it. Mondays and Wednesdays weren’t so bad, but obviously Fridays sucked because our entire house would be starting to pregame while we were heading off to class (and unlike what the TFM Wall makes it sound like we were pretty good about not skipping and we tried to do pretty well because it was a major course).
Eventually as the semester wore on we decided to start bringing drinks to class so we’d be buzzed for the walk back to the house. We’d bring flasks sometimes and be sneaky but mostly it was just water bottles with vodka and Sprite or a Coke bottle with a little whisky. But even this got a little boring, and we made the drinks stronger and stronger as the semester wore on, and it got to the point where we would sometimes be drunker than our buddies were when we finally made it back. It’s not like we were getting blacked out in class or whatever, but you get the point.
Another important part of the story is this girl Brianne. She was this girl our age who sat in the front of class. She was like your average liberal type, kinda hipster, kinda gave off a feminist vibe like giving us somewhat dirty looks when we all rolled into class at the same time. Which is weird, because it was a class for the business school and she definitely looked like a theater or English type. She even had one of those bull ring piercings through her nose which we all joked about. But she did pretty well, took the class seriously and all that, even sat in the front row every class and answered questions.
Well it gets to the end of the semester, like right before exams, and like I said we had been getting bolder and bolder with our drinking, sometimes getting pretty drunk before leaving. So one of my brothers, I’ll call him Sam, whispers in my ear before one of these final classes “gonna get wasted tonight man, and I’m starting right now”. So Sam is a bigger guy and I don’t think much of it, but his coke bottle must have been almost straight whisky because halfway through class I can smell the liquor on his breath and he’s making kinda funny grunting noises and laughs and stuff.
Well he finishes the bottle and the teacher is about to wrap up his lecture and Sam whispers to us again. He says “hey guys watch this, I’m gonna go fuck with that Brianne chick” or something like that. And he gets up, even while the teacher is still talking, and walks out of class like he’s just leaving early. But when he gets in front of Brianne he says “Oink Oink!” really loudly and yanks at her bullring. Well she just fucking screams, like a death howl and stands up and covers her nose and blood is rushing out.
Sam freaks out, runs into the hallway and we don’t see him for the rest of the night. The teacher gets all worked up too obviously and calls for an ambulance and they actually have to take the girl to the hospital for stitches. Turns out Sam actually ripped the entire goddamn ring out of her nose. We saw her next fall around campus some and she would give us just the worst glares ever, but it was hard not to laugh because even though they did the best they could her nose still looked gnarled and weird, kind of like a cauliflower.
Turns out Sam just wanted to tug it kinda, to make us laugh, and then he was gonna run out, only he didn’t realize how drunk he was or how easy it was gonna rip, and he ended up ruining this girl’s face for the rest of her life pretty much. He got suspended and was allowed back after taking all these violence and alcohol abuse courses which surprised the hell out of us, of course. We thought he was gonna get expelled.
After that we told ourselves we would never drink in class again, but this semester a group of us are in a Thursday class at seven and, well, let’s just say our vow didn’t last very long. And goddamnit, if I can’t help cracking my ass up any time I see one of those stupid ass rings in some left leaning hippy girl. Jesus Christ man, good times.
11 years ago at 5:02 pmSo much work for such little
11 years ago at 6:36 pmThere’s a bear with you?
11 years ago at 11:19 pmWhat about these fake deer humping each other reminded you to share with us this thrilling anecdote?
11 years ago at 12:46 pmI bet that deer gets more action than you
11 years ago at 7:13 pmMiami University TKE’s…….a perfect representation of them
11 years ago at 2:28 pm