It’s A Travesty That Paige Spiranac, The Smokeshow Golfer Currently Ruling The Internet, Will Have To Quit Golf

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Next to Jordan Spieth, the biggest star in the game of golf right now is undoubtedly the stone cold fox with a swing as harmonious and smooth as a choir of angels singing Crosby, Stills, & Nash atop a velvet cloud, Paige Spiranac.

If you were to look up the textbook definition of what a golf swing is, her photo would be printed onto the page with the text that simply read “This” underneath.

So fluid. So sexy. So pure. Like the rest of the internet, I’m completely under this little femme fatale’s spell and there’s just no cure. Which might be a problem, because our girl is about to retire from the game of golf.

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Trust me, I take no joy being solely responsible in ending this girl’s promising career before it even gets started, but once we hit the links and my competitive nature takes over, I just won’t be able to dial it down and throw the round. I apologize in advance to all for robbing the world of this beautiful, eighth-wonder-of-the-world sight.

A video posted by Paige Spiranac (@_paige.renee) on

A video posted by Paige Spiranac (@_paige.renee) on

That wiggle, though.

A video posted by Paige Spiranac (@_paige.renee) on

A video posted by Paige Spiranac (@_paige.renee) on

A video posted by Paige Spiranac (@_paige.renee) on

A photo posted by Paige Spiranac (@_paige.renee) on

Don’t worry, Paige. I’m sure we can find you a spot here at Grandex for your post-retirement years.

Image via Instagram

  1. LadieslovetheDeke

    Writing an article on a popular website solely to humblebrag about banging a hot chick. TFM.

    10 years ago at 12:40 pm
    1. Frobert The III

      Dont worry, based on his weight and his swing, Danny Rugs will find himself firmly stationed in the friendzone after she kicks his ass in golf and he shoots a 109 on a 9 hole municipal.

      10 years ago at 1:34 pm
  2. ZeroPointZero

    Her stance in the first picture is so fundamentally wrong…..and yet so right.

    10 years ago at 12:41 pm
    1. Subpar

      Any position/stance is necessary as long as it gets it in hole. Whether its on or off the course.

      10 years ago at 1:13 pm
  3. TyWebb88

    Danny Boy you had me worried for a second…she could play for the Blacks and beat you by 20 strokes.

    10 years ago at 12:48 pm
      1. SigmaPhilthy

        As in “looks like golf isn’t the only thing she learned from her daddy.”

        10 years ago at 9:44 am
  4. IHeartMoms

    I respect how far out of your league you’re going on this one Dan. Shoot for the stars.

    10 years ago at 1:01 pm
  5. DiscoDusty_1855

    Text screen shot to prove you actually know her. Honestly, wouldn’t have believed you without that Daniel.

    10 years ago at 1:03 pm