It’s Time To Shut Ole Miss Football Down After This Sports Illustrated Report

Ole Miss Football

In what has to be the least surprising announcement of the year, the ongoing investigation into the admitted benefits received by Laremy “Gas Mask” Tunsil while at the University of Mississippi has expanded to players outside of the new Miami Dolphin.

From Sports Illustrated:

According to the report, the NCAA visited Auburn and Mississippi State and possibly one more SEC West school this summer to speak with players who were recruited by Ole Miss.

Those recruited players were granted immunity from potential NCAA punishment if they were truthful in their interviews.

What’s most comical about this is how humiliatingly long it took the NCAA to lift a finger, while in the past annihilating SMU for essentially the same antics, penalizing Michigan for stretching for too long, demolishing Ohio State for selling team memorabilia on eBay, and lashing out at a litany of unpaid college kids for signing autographs with petty cash handshakes. It’s fucking pathetic, both administratively and practically.

Stevie Wonder saw years ago that the Rebels and Coach Hugh Freeze were cheaters. Freeze, who replaced Houston Nutt after a stellar 2-10 season, was, at the time, just four years removed from being blindsided by the real life Sandra Bullock as a high school coach, and just a year removed from coaching something called “Lambuth.” Yet, this seemingly uninspiring hire managed to secure the three greatest recruiting classes in the history of the program — all coming off of a pathetic season, more than five decades since their last conference championship, and with a new head man nobody had ever heard of. Right, that seems squeaky clean.

But don’t worry, Rebels fans. Your program last won the SEC when JFK was still breathing, and your history books read: “Manning I, Manning II, wow, Deuce McAllister has a ton of children.” Your school’s academics are perhaps the black sheep of college football’s worst scholastic conference, and the state in which your campus resides is statistically America’s grandest combination of poverty, illiteracy, homelessness, and discontent.

Sounds like a wonderful place to be, I’m sure you’ll bounce back. Hopefully this time you won’t misspell $cholarship again. Fucking illiterates.

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  1. W.C. Gump

    Good ol Lambuth, where Memphis’s reject private school athletes go to “play college ball”. Now just a decrepit branch of the U of M in Jackson, TN

    8 years ago at 10:30 am
  2. Colonel Reb forever

    Siblings of Mark Wahlberg has a bone to pick with the Rebels evidently. A cute Ole Miss sorority girl (or 10) probably turned him down for a date. Good.

    8 years ago at 10:57 am
    1. Siblings of Mark Wahlberg

      Yes, because a sports fan can’t possibly have a disdain for cheating without being fucked over by a girl.

      And BTW Reb, even when cheating you guys are wholly irrelevant aside from the occasional upset of a program that matters. Averaged 8 wins a year under Freeze even while buying players.

      Nice.

      8 years ago at 11:11 am
      1. Colonel Reb forever

        I struck a nerve. You must’ve walked in on the love of your life the moment after some redneck in Oxford dropped a big load on her face.

        8 years ago at 11:36 am
  3. Drunk Chris Berman

    Ole Miss has been cheating for years. It really is terrible that NCAA took this long to end the “Buy a Recruit” system that Ole Miss has

    8 years ago at 11:06 am
  4. nolenation44

    Just don’t do anything till after FSU plays them. I don’t want any of that “you only won because” crap. (Assuming a favorable FSU outcome).

    8 years ago at 11:23 am
      1. nolenation44

        How are you even seeing this? I know you don’t have internet at that hick-ass school in morgantown.

        8 years ago at 6:07 pm
  5. Quailhird

    Hard to fight the long and well funded arm of Nick Satan who is pulling the strings of the NCAA

    8 years ago at 11:38 am
  6. Bro-hann Sebastian Bach

    The ncaa has no balls and will continue to do nothing much like the tfm admins. I recommend the unc approach and telling them to go fuck themselves and stop wasting money on investigations.

    8 years ago at 12:31 pm
  7. Oldfrattybastard

    So the NCAA is going to ask players at rival schools if Ole Miss cheated and give them immunity? What do you think they are going to say? TNCAAM. “Imma get mine”- Every player ever

    8 years ago at 2:55 pm
  8. CajunChris

    Let Harrison make CFB articles great again. All Siblings does is hate on the Sec, news flash CFB in the Northeast is ass.

    8 years ago at 4:01 pm